순례자의 샘터 2016 Fall/Winter | Page 53

prior to arriving in Cambodia. Being my first mission trip, to answer every time I asked him through prayer when I had no idea what to expect, and while I was excited for my team. what to come, I was anxious to see how God would use I would like to now share a short experience of the many me. On top of that, more than half of our team has been to Cambodia at least once and even three of my team members have stayed there for more than a year. I felt as if there were a lot of expectations required of me for this trip. For those who do not know, during this time, I was struggling in my faith in Christ. Through a series of events of rejections, I felt as if everything was against me and led to a struggle in my faith, and because of this, I was a worried that I would not be spiritually ready to teach the people of God about Cambodia; however, during the trip, I realized that God did not send me here to evangelize and teach everyone about God, but only to show His love to His people. I believe that God brought me here to times that God has worked in my life during this mis- mature spiritually and soften my heart that was hardened sion trip. The day after we arrived to Life International in order for me to become obedient to His will. School, my team and I went to a nearby village near the Throughout the mission trip, God has shown me multiple port of Sihanoukville to provide first aid and play with the children. When we arrived, we immediately began to unpack and the kids began to come out from their homes one by one. While we began to give first aid to the children, some of the children instantly recognized a few of my team members that came to the same place last year. The kids were very comfortable with my team members and because they knew who they were, they went and started to play games with them. Since this was my first mission trip, I did not know how to interact or play with the children. Soon, I realized that even though my heart was there and times that when your focus is on him and not on school, earned to play with the children, I was alone. For the first work, or anything else that may hinder you from focus- time, I closed my eyes and prayed to God. “God I know ing on God, He will show you so much that you could that you brought me here for a reason. Please show me ever imagine. Matthews 7:7, it states, “Ask and it will be your plan for me here in Cambodia.” And when I fin- given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door ished, instantly a child came up to me and began to speak will be opened to you”. For the longest time, my lack of to me. The child only knew Khmer; however, I knew that faith has made me question, “Does God really provide he asked me to hold him. And so I did. The joy I felt at when we ask”? Then how come I was never able to do that very moment made me realize that this is what God’s this or that when I prayed or “seek”? Then, I soon began love truly feels like. Soon, the kids began to come and to realize that everything I asked for or “seeked” was for play with us and at the end of that day, I began to realize my own personal gains. Everything I asked was never for why God wanted me to come to Cambodia, and that was God’s glory but for my own. However, God soon began to not evangelize these kids, but to show them what God’s The English Ministry of First Korean Baptist Church of Raleigh | www.livinghoperaleigh.org 53