each other?
Abraham: Anita is like my guardian angel
who brought me to life. We can talk for hours,
yet it seems like minutes. We talk each day and
stay deeply connected. She inspires me to accomplish things I never thought possible. She
has gotten me to think positively, which gives
me the ability to achieve success. She’s highly
outgoing, playful, and insightful. We love being together in the tranquil house, along with
our beloved animals. We are true soul mates,
something that I know is pretty rare for people
to find.
Anita: I treasure our ability to communicate
with each other on such an intimate level. We
often spend hours talking. In the early stages
of our romantic relationship, we’d lay in bed
with all our clothes on, just lying in each other’s
arms, talking. That’s as intimate as making
love. We were getting into each other’s heart,
mind, and soul. That’s why our relationship is
so intense, because we communicate so deeply
with each other. I also think we both treasure
each other so much because we never thought
we would have someone to love, so it’s the
greatest gift ever, and it’s much more special to
us for this reason.
PO
Stephen: Do you or Abraham have any difficulties with intimacy regarding sensory issues?
Anita: Even as a young child, I couldn’t stand
to be touched. My mom would describe that
when she’d reach in my crib to pick me up, I’d
stiffen my arms and legs in protest of being
touched! I just can’t stand when anyone touches
me. Anyone, that is, except Abraham! We can’t
get enough of each other! Even when we are
cooking together, there are endless hugs and
kisses being exchanged!
With intimacy, we took things very slowly.
Once we transitioned from friendship to a
romantic relationship, it was months before we
were making love. We were building our trust
and comfort in each other. Gradually we started
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ZOOM Autism through Many Lenses
kissing, holding hands, and then caressing each
other.
We started our caressing each other by experimenting with different ways of touching. By
this I mean using either finger tips or whole
hands; and either extremely light pressure,
medium pressure or deep pressure; and then
varying that on different body parts. Typically,
autistic people talk about sensory issues for all
the negative reasons. In this case, we use our
highly attuned senses to the greatest heights
for extreme pleasure. We truly believe what we
experience with our lovemaking is far beyond
what most people will ever have. Also, our ability to communicate at the deepest level enhances our romantic experiences because we are
connected at the most ultimate level that two
human beings can possibly be connected. I will
say that we are a romance novel come to life!
Abraham: “Ditto to what my Darling Wife just
said!”
PO
Stephen: Explain how your relationship
evolved after meeting each other.
Anita: Due to unusual family circumstances,
we had to begin seeing each other in extreme
secrecy. Sometimes it would be once a week;
sometimes we couldn’t see each other for weeks
on end. Our only means of communication
was texting. Abraham quickly learned how to
become spontaneous and flexible! There would
be unexpected opportunities to see each other
that weren’t planned, and we’d both have to
shift gears in order to make it happen. During our time away from each other, love letters
would abound via text messages. It was like the
old days of yesteryear when two lovers would
write each other daily and pour their hearts
out with their pens. On very rare occasions,
we got to talk on the phone, very late at night,
and usually until the wee hours of the morning. This went on for the next five months. So,
actually, we never dated in the traditional way.
Our desire to be together grew with each pass-
“I always dreamed of finding
someone with whom I would be
able to connect with, someone
I could be my true self with.”
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ZOOM Autism through Many Lenses
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