Zoom Autism Magazine Issue 6 - Page 30

each other? Abraham: Anita is like my guardian angel who brought me to life. We can talk for hours, yet it seems like minutes. We talk each day and stay deeply connected. She inspires me to accomplish things I never thought possible. She has gotten me to think positively, which gives me the ability to achieve success. She’s highly outgoing, playful, and insightful. We love being together in the tranquil house, along with our beloved animals. We are true soul mates, something that I know is pretty rare for people to find. Anita: I treasure our ability to communicate with each other on such an intimate level. We often spend hours talking. In the early stages of our romantic relationship, we’d lay in bed with all our clothes on, just lying in each other’s arms, talking. That’s as intimate as making love. We were getting into each other’s heart, mind, and soul. That’s why our relationship is so intense, because we communicate so deeply with each other. I also think we both treasure each other so much because we never thought we would have someone to love, so it’s the greatest gift ever, and it’s much more special to us for this reason. PO Stephen: Do you or Abraham have any difficulties with intimacy regarding sensory issues? Anita: Even as a young child, I couldn’t stand to be touched. My mom would describe that when she’d reach in my crib to pick me up, I’d stiffen my arms and legs in protest of being touched! I just can’t stand when anyone touches me. Anyone, that is, except Abraham! We can’t get enough of each other! Even when we are cooking together, there are endless hugs and kisses being exchanged! With intimacy, we took things very slowly. Once we transitioned from friendship to a romantic relationship, it was months before we were making love. We were building our trust and comfort in each other. Gradually we started 30 ZOOM Autism through Many Lenses kissing, holding hands, and then caressing each other. We started our caressing each other by experimenting with different ways of touching. By this I mean using either finger tips or whole hands; and either extremely light pressure, medium pressure or deep pressure; and then varying that on different body parts. Typically, autistic people talk about sensory issues for all the negative reasons. In this case, we use our highly attuned senses to the greatest heights for extreme pleasure. We truly believe what we experience with our lovemaking is far beyond what most people will ever have. Also, our ability to communicate at the deepest level enhances our romantic experiences because we are connected at the most ultimate level that two human beings can possibly be connected. I will say that we are a romance novel come to life! Abraham: “Ditto to what my Darling Wife just said!” PO Stephen: Explain how your relationship evolved after meeting each other. Anita: Due to unusual family circumstances, we had to begin seeing each other in extreme secrecy. Sometimes it would be once a week; sometimes we couldn’t see each other for weeks on end. Our only means of communication was texting. Abraham quickly learned how to become spontaneous and flexible! There would be unexpected opportunities to see each other that weren’t planned, and we’d both have to shift gears in order to make it happen. During our time away from each other, love letters would abound via text messages. It was like the old days of yesteryear when two lovers would write each other daily and pour their hearts out with their pens. On very rare occasions, we got to talk on the phone, very late at night, and usually until the wee hours of the morning. This went on for the next five months. So, actually, we never dated in the traditional way. Our desire to be together grew with each pass- “I always dreamed of finding someone with whom I would be able to connect with, someone I could be my true self with.” Caption goes here. ZOOM Autism through Many Lenses 31