Zoom Autism Magazine Issue 3 Spring 2015 | Page 48
It’s not enough for
kids & teens to simply
feel safe. They also
need to feel that their
dignity, their sense of
self-worth, is intact
and protected.
In the discussion about bullying, we often focus
on awareness and preventative measures, which
is great. But it’s also important for adults to establish guidelines for their own responses. When
kids are bullied, it’s a terrible thing, but after the
bullying events, kids can be even more vulnerable. That’s when their minds are trying to make
sense of the situation, and that’s when they need
to be protected from their own fears and selfdoubts.
So what do you as a parent do when you find out
that your child has been bullied? In situations
like this, adults need to ask themselves two questions before they say or do anything:
1) Will your reaction cause your child to feel
judged?
2) Will your response inadvertently make the bullied individual feel at fault?
Questions like these need to be an ongoing part
of the discussion. Interventions may be necessary, but proper timing is a crucial element if
they are going to be effective. Good plans can go
wrong if they leave kids feeling confused and uncertain about their own roles in these situations.
Bottom line: how an adult responds to a child or
teen after a bullying incident can have as much
impact as the bullying itself. We have to get these
things right because it’s not enough for kids and
teens to simply feel safe. They also need to feel
that their dignity – their sense of self-worth – is
intact and protected.
M. Kelter writes about life on the autism
spectrum at his blog, Invisible Strings. You
can visit his Twitter and Facebook page,
where positive discussions with an active
parent community are ongoing. He has
been a guest contributor for Kate Winslet’s Golden Hat Foundation blog and The
Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism.
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Zoom Autism Through Many Lenses