Your Friends Are Not Your Soulmates
Don’t equate making a new friend with finding a
life partner. When you’re searching for your
soulmate, you have to think about multiple areas
of potential incompatibility. In contrast, a
friend doesn’t need to check every box.
Think of your group of friends like a
toolbox: you can have friends you exercise
with, friends you discuss books with,
friends you take trips with, friends you
call when you get dumped, and so on.
When you make it easier for someone to
fit your definition of a friend, your circle
expands along with your perspective.
Talk
“When you make
it easier for
someone to fit
your definition of
a friend, your
circle expands
along with your
perspective.”
You need to talk to people. And when I
say people, I mean people you don’t know.
I’m not talking about being that annoying
stranger in the checkout line at the
grocery store (although I did once make a
friend that way when a guy asked if I was
having a party because my cart was full of
tonic water and limes…). Simply ask
people questions and see how the
conversation goes. For example, you’re in
line waiting for the doors to open at a concert.
Ask the person in front of you if they’ve seen the
musician perform before. At a gala event? Find
someone who’s s tanding alone and strike up a
conversation, or find a group of people who are
laughing and say something like, “Mind if I join
you? You look like the most fun group here!”
organization like Rotary which is welcoming to
newcomers. Walking into a room knowing you
have something in common with everyone can
empower you to break the ice.