Hints and Suggestions for the Host Family
The following suggestions are based on more than five
decades of YFU host family experiences. YFU recommends
that families think about these suggestions before their YFU
student arrives.
Whether you are a young person or an adult, consider your
feelings the first time you went away from home for an
extended period of time, especially if you went a long way
from home, into a strange and unfamiliar environment.
The stronger your memory of those feelings, the more you
will understand what an exchange student will be feeling.
Understanding will help the student feel like one of the
family more quickly. Most of what follows is
based on information YFU has received from host families
around the world, families who have enjoyed the Youth For
Understanding Program.
••Hold family discussions. Families should talk together
about what it will be like to add a new person to their
home, to their daily routine and perhaps crowded
schedule. Family members should be asked what it
would be like for one of them to go to a strange new
country, to a new family, speaking a new language for a
year. What kind of hopes, fears, and expectations would
an exchange student have?
All families have—and need—rules. Rules are
established guidelines to help people live together.
Family rules are usually thought of in terms of money,
chores, and curfews; however, many rules are unspoken
expectations of the way people should behave. For
example, often families have long-standing assumptions
about how things are done; i.e., “the top always goes
back on the toothpaste, the youngest family member
always sets the table, one asks before bringing friends
home or raiding the refrigerator.” Each family also has
more subtle rules.
The exchange student won’t know the family’s assumed
rules and will probably make mistakes. To complicate
things further, the student will also be bringing along an
entire set of assumed rules from his or her own family.
When a student breaks a rule, the family might be
angry, disappointed, or only mildly irritated. Eventually,
a gap in communication can develop and widen,
sometimes becoming irreparable. To prevent those little
irritations from developing into major communication
barriers, both families and students must become
aware of all the family rules, both implicit and explicit.
This is the first step in the process of adjusting the
family system to the newcomer.
Assume everyone doesn’t know the rules. Sometimes
rules are unstated or stated vaguely. For example, “Call
if you are not going to be home by dinner time” is not
as specific as “Call if you are not going to be home to
eat dinner at 6 pm.” Not everyone will have the same
understanding that the family has about the rules.
••Know some of the student’s language. What a thrill
it will be for the student to hear your family offer
greetings in his or her native language. Key resources
like the Campus Coordinator, language instructors
at the college, or even experienced host families can
teach families some basic words, phrases, greetings, or
terms of endearment. Berlitz phrase books or similar
publications offer whole phrases by topic, making them
easy to learn.
••Learn about the student’s country. It will make
the student more comfortable if the family knows
something about his or her country.
○○ Books and magazines on other cultures, including
many for young children, are available in public
libraries. See the list of suggested reading materials
at the end of this handbook.
○○ Watch educational programs on television or DVD.
○○ These programs offer insights into the people of a
particular country, the lifestyles, the history and
government, the economy, the educational system,
the land, and the climate.
○○ Online Resources. The internet offers a wealth of
resources to get up-to-date statistics, news, and
information about recent cultural trends. Some
websites to consider include:
1. Embassy Websites. Most countries’ embassies
in Washington, DC, have websites in English
with cultural and news updates and educational
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