YFU Handbooks 2015 Family Handbook (Study Abroad) | Page 27

V. Returning Home and the Future Years

THE RE-ENTRY PROCESS
As you prepare for your child’s return, you may think that
his/her experience has just ended. The re-entry process
that follows exchange is a cycle all unto itself. Re-entry,
the process of readjustment to the home culture, in some
cases can be more difficult than the adjustment to life in
the host country was – primarily because the challenge
is unexpected! When students travel abroad, they are
generally prepared for life to be considerably different.
However, they often expect to slide effortlessly back into
their old lives at home. The home culture may seem in
many ways to be unfamiliar because they are now viewing it
through the new viewpoint that they adopted while abroad.
In addition, during the international exchange, students
become accustomed to a high level of activity or stimulation
because they are out of the normal and comfortable
environment. As a result, upon returning home they may
feel restless or depressed. In other situations, students
expect to pick up exactly where they left off and it can be
upsetting when reality doesn’t meet their expectations.
Their concept of home often falls short of what they find
upon return, and changes at home or the realization that life
has gone on without them can make home feel very foreign.

REVERSE CULTURE SHOCK
It is natural for your son or daughter to compare and
question nearly every aspect of the American life—food,
politics, school—to the life of his/her host country. S/he
may seem more irritable or critical of the US and of others.
This is what is referred to as reverse culture shock, an
often overlooked component of international exchange.
Sometimes reverse culture shock shares the symptoms
of depression—low energy, problems with sleep and

appetite, and difficulty concentrating. These stages are not
permanent. Eventually, after having people to share his/her
stories with, your child will learn how to readjust to life back
at home.
Your child’s reverse culture shock can be difficult for
you as well. You may feel hurt or puzzled by your child’s
new attitude, but it is important that you continue to be
patient and understanding, and let him/her know that you
are interested in talking about newfound perspectives.
Remember that although your life may have remained
basically the same during your child’s exchange, your child
has likely experienced profound changes. It is important
that you try to understand these changes and work with
your child to incorporate them into your relationship.
Because it is hard to share such a large experience, your
child may disengage in sharing if s/he doesn’t feel others
understand or aren’t listening.

EASING RE-ENTRY
Each exchange student adjusts back to his/her home life at
his/her own pace. Be tolerant of this, allowing for a lot of
down time, restrain from being judgmental of your child as
s/he views the US and perhaps your own family’s customs
through their new lens. Try to honor the changes that your
child has gone through rather than feel threatened by them.
Because your child has most likely developed a newfound
independence in his/her time away, don’t be surprised if
s/he finds your rules to be too restrictive now. Learning
how to engage your child in conversation about his/her
frustrations will help your relationship adapt to his/her new
sense of independence. From your perspective, it may seem
overwhelming at times to hear the common phrases: "When
I was in... (Japan, France, Germany, etc.),” and "It's too hard
to explain," but be patient with your child even though it can

Study Abroad Family Handbook - 27