them reading and learning about their student ' s feelings on social media .
Let ' s be honest , if your child is posting only bad comments about his / her experiences online , and you don ' t have the full information , you are likely to get worried .
COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR CHILD AND THE HOST FAMILY
In the initial days and weeks apart , you will most likely feel just as many new emotions as your child . The desire to communicate frequently will be tempting , especially in today ’ s world of instant and continuous communication . However , this initial adjustment period is a time to allow your child to immerse him / herself fully into their new surroundings and experiences rather than bringing his / her mind back to life at home . It is important to give your child some space during this early stage of their stay . YFU recommends that students have no more than weekly contact with their natural family and friends .
You have been instrumental in providing tools that s / he needs to for the exchange experience . However , now that your child is on program , it is important to take a backseat , especially during the initial adjustment period . During the first few weeks , your child may call or write often about difficulties and frustrations . What you can do to support your child is to encourage him / her to tell you about the simple things s / he is experiencing such as the food , the route to town , or favorite shopkeepers . Ask your child to draw a floor plan or send a photo of his / her home . You will feel better if you can picture your child in this new setting . And you will notice that as your child adjusts , so will his / her attitude . Your child will become happier in a new set of living conditions and will be able to communicate better and understand why the people in his / her host country live as they do .
As the weeks pass , the frustration level will decrease and you may hear from them less . Usually less communication means that they are getting more involved and leading a busier life after the initial adjustment weeks . YFU has found time and time again that when a parent becomes overly involved by frequent email or phone calls , the student ’ s ability to adjust to the new culture is inhibited . Professionally trained YFU Area Representatives have many years of experience helping students with their needs and concerns . It is their job to be a trusted resource for your child and they are happy to be a part of this process . You have already given your child the tools to work through the challenges , now it is the time to let go and let him / her grow . Initially this may be difficult but there are a variety of ways to cope with communication without letting it get in the way of adjusting .
Email , Texting and IM . While these tools provide instantaneous communication , it also provides the “ path of least resistance ” for the student . While it is an easy way to immediately share one ’ s frustrations with someone who they feel understands them , or a way to deal with homesickness , these types of frequent ( daily ) contact do not help a student adjust to their host culture . Make a plan with your child to arrange a weekly skype call or ask they send a weekly email update . This way , rather than spending hours communicating with home , your child can focus on getting involved with their host community , family and school .
Blogging or Vlogging . One way to keep everyone at home happy , yet stay on track adjusting to the host culture is to suggest to your student keep a blog or vlog . If the student updates them every so often , they can keep the number of hours responding to email / text / IM down and focus on taking advantage of every opportunity that arises during their exchange . This solution provides answers to the many questions that may arise during the exchange from the student ’ s family and friends . Comments and questions can be posted and the student can choose to address them in future posts .
It is important to note that caution and common sense should be used when sharing information about the exchange on social media . We recommend students keep in mind the following questions :
• What does your Facebook , Twitter , blog or vlog say about you ? Anyone can read past posts , even from before your exchange . When you ‘ friend ’ new people and your host family , what assumptions will they make ?
• Ask yourself how your host family or friends might feel if they read your posts . If you are having negative feelings , it is important to talk to your host family or talk to your YFU area representative or staff person .
• See Appendix for more detailed information on computer and social media use during the exchange .
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