YFU Handbooks 2015 Family Handbook (Study Abroad) | Page 10

transition into his/her new culture will be helpful for both
of you. Consider the areas to which your child may have a
difficult time adjusting and brainstorm strategies to help get
through them. As a parent, it may be helpful for you to write
down these ideas so that you can refer back to them when
your child is on program.

DEVELOPING REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
One of the biggest challenges that exchange students face
is coping with the difference between the expectations they
have developed and what the experience turns out to be.
And while it is natural, of course, for students, and even
families, to develop expectations of the home that they will
soon be living in, their new community, new friends, etc., it
is important to resist idealizing the experience.

!

Realistic expectations develop when exchange students
and their parents consider in advance the many
possibilities and experiences that can come about
during an exchange.

If your child narrows his/her ideas about the new city,
school, or host family, s/he is setting him/herself up for
a fall before the experience has begun. Imagining many
different possibilities is important – from the size of the
host community and school to the number of people in
the host family and the type of home they have. Your child
may live 3 miles outside of town or 8 miles from school. S/
he may have a very loving host mother and father and no
host siblings. The one thing that your child should expect
is a clean and safe home with a warm and supportive host
family.
While developing expectations is nearly inevitable, it is
reassuring to know that often the unanticipated aspects of
10 - Study Abroad Family Handbook

exchange are what lead to the most positive experiences.
YFU students often come back from their time abroad and
view the uncomfortable stages as great learning moments
and talk about them with a sense of pride and humor.
So rather than looking forward to and even expecting an
entirely smooth experience, you as a parent can help your
child begin to develop expectations that reflect the realities
of a growing experience.
Communication Expectations (see Communication
section for more details). Also worth discussing together
before your child leaves are your expectations for being in
touch. Circumstances may limit the frequency and means of
communication that your child can initiate or receive while
on program. YFU recommends that you discuss this with
your child and form a realistic communication plan that
you both can agree on, and recognize that after a month
or two you and your child might have to revise the plan yet
again. It is important to realize that you may have to adjust
your plan once the exchange has begun. Your child is likely
to be too busy basking in the host culture to email, text or
call every Sunday. Despite the myriad of unknowns, simply
expressing what you each think would be ideal can help you
understand one another’s expectations. Please refer to page
18 for social media guidelines.
Most exchange students are only able to enjoy their time
abroad and to integrate well into their host country when
contact with their natural family is kept to a minimum.
Frequent contact between natural parents and their
children can sometimes be intrusive to the host family and,
for most exchange students, it also increases the level of
homes