XIOX MAGAZINE Volume 1 Issue 7 - Page 90

hair LIFE, DEATH, DETOURS AND DERAILMENTS Our 20s are meant to be full of madness, friendships, and feeling indestructible, while creating stories that will last a lifetime! This is a time of counting pennies for the gas tank and enjoying greasy diners after late night partying and dragging yourself into class with a hangover haunting you until you do it all again. Stephanie Ramirez, age 24 was living her own version of this life until she discovered a lump on her breast and her 20 year old life became unrecognizable. Like so many of us dealing with health issues, Stephanie wanted to ignore the lump and explain it away. Maybe it was a sports injury from a pulled a muscle she thought; however the fear was already alive and the appointment with the doctor was made. As Stephanie disrobed and the examination began, the doctor told her, ” I feel it might be benign, but let’s get an ultrasound and just check it out and to be safe.” Stephanie was given two options, one was to watch the growth for six months or to have the growth removed and checked out. Because the growth had appeared from nowhere, she chose the later, which felt like a nudging from her guardian angel. While the doctors felt 99% sure that this lump was benign, Steph was hit in the gut to find out, she was the unlucky 1% and her world was turned upside down. This young woman who was living a life full of friendships, dates and dreams was suddenly thrust into excruciating decisions and thoughts of, “how can I survive this and what is going to happen to my family, my loved ones…. me?” After the news was given to Steph, she had to figure out how to tell her loved ones. She broke the news to her father first, who wept. He slowly walked himself up the stairs while Steph picked up the phone to call her boyfriend to break the news. He answered and heard her tears and she explained to him that the lump wasn’t benign and she was in for the battle of her life. The phone went silent and her boyfriend softly said, “I need to call you back.” She hung up the phone while breaking down, not realizing on the other end of that line was a man who was just brought to his knees and had to catch his breath. As she sat downstairs crying, her heartbroken mother came to her and asked, “Is it true”? Steph knew nobody ever wants to hear the word cancer, but it was true. Now was the time to battle and figure out how she was going to 90 survive and could she survive? The next few days felt out of control and as if life was moving at hyper speed. Full of fear, she entered her surgeon’s office trying to hold onto any bit of hope available. It was now time for some very hard decisions that were far beyond her 24 years. As she sat waiting for the surgeon, she battled with her thoughts, “My life had just started and there are so many amazing things happening! I met a wonderful man, I was accepted in university, locked down a new job, and everything was going beautifully and then… it wasn’t!” Waves of emotions swept over her and the wondering of, “how could this happen to me and why didn’t this happen to somebody else?” Of course she didn’t really want this to happen to anyone but when you are fighting for your life all of these feelings rise to the surface. She was like an ocean’s cliff being slammed by the waves trying to cut away from her and found herself in an undertow, “I felt sadness, despair, loneliness, fea ȁѡ͔ɕͥѡ՝́$)ͼЁ̰䁅tݡ́ɕ䁑ձЁȁ́ͥ́ѼչхMѕ݅)ɅЁɽѡչѽѡЁ݅͡)ɽх她ٔQ́݅́Ёѡ)͡ѕѼݥѡєȁ̰ͥ͡)͕Ёȁɝ䁙ȁՉѕѽ)Mѕéѽȁ݅́ɥ͕Ёȁե͕)ͥѼٔՉѕѽ䰁Ёɕѕѡ)ѡٕ́݅́ͥ͡M݅́ݽɥѡ)ȁձɅєѼѡѡȁɕЁ͡Ѽ)ݡЁ݅́Ёȁȁ̸ٕ]ѡɔ́)ՅɅѕѡȁݽeЁɕɸ͡Ʌѡɕ)ѽɽݡɔݕ́ݽݔɔ)х՝ЁѡݽɱѡЁͼՍȁѥ䁥͕́)ѡ݅ݔѡ͡ȁ䰁Ё͡)եɕ镐݅́͡ͼՍɔѡȁɕ̸)M݅́ɕͥȁɕ́ѼɅȁ)QЁɔɝ䰁ȁٕ́ɽչ)ѡѽѥѼɅѡɽͅ䁽ٕȁȸ!ȁɝ݅́ɥq!]tݡ͡Ё݅)ݥѠȰѡɔ݅́չɱ她ȁ!])́ѡq1ЁMȳtݡ́ѽ䁽Ѡ)ɅȁѠ͡չ͕ɽչ()Ʌ́ݡѽɔȸM饹)ɕ͔ݡ݅́݅ɴɥMѽɔ)MѕȁՕфɅѡȤѽȁѡ)ٕѡ݅́Ѽ丁݅́ݥѠȸM)Ʌѡ́ٔЁ݅́͡)ɽѕѥ́݅́͡ݡѼɝ)Mɝѽٔ́ݡѡѽȁɥٕ)ѡ݅ѥɽݥѠ䰁ѡ䁥ѕ䁙)հݡѡͅ܁ѡѡɝé̸)Q䁙Ёɕ͔́ѡݕɔѽѡɝ݅́Ս͙հMѕ݅́ɕٕ丁Mѕɕ)݅ѡɕٕɽѼͥݡɕ+q]Ѽѡɕٕɽtݡ݅́յѥɅѥMѽ)Ѽѡ)]ѡЁՍ͔Ё݅́ѥѼхЁѡɅ)ݡ݅́ȁɔɥѕѼȁѡɝ丁ٕѡ͡܁Ё݅́ɽ٥́)́ȁ̰ՙɥM݅)əհͥȁȁͥݡ̸݅͡5ɔ)ѡѡѡչݸ݅́ѡЁɥѕ)Qɕ٥ѥMѕ݅ѕѼЁ)ѡɕѠٕ͡ȁѼ)и)QЁ䰁͡ѕɕѡɽݥѠ)ѡȁ݅ɥ́ͥѥ̰ѼՉ̰)ݥѠ՝̸]݅́͡Ʌչٕ͡)չ͕ɽչ݅ɴ͵́Ʌ)ݡȁɥٕ́݅ɐ͡)݅́́Ʌչѥ͡ѽѡ͡ݕȁ)Ѽݕ́ȁȁͽѱ䁙ѼѡȸM)ѡ՝Ё݅́͡ɕ䁙ȁѡ́аٕѡ՝͡)ոѼѡЁ݅ͻeЁѼѼȸM)ͥȁȁٕ݅́䁵Ս݅э)ѡɕ́ѡݕȁ܁ѡݥ!)ȁѡЁ䁹ՑݥѠձ܁݅)ݥѠ͔=ٕݡ͡ݕѡѕ́Ѽ)͡ͅ唁ѼѡɰѡиMѽѡѥ)ݕ͕Ѽѡа́͡ɕɕѡݽɑ́ȁɥqԁЁɅձ)ɥѡ͔̻́t%Ё݅́хЁ)ȁѼɸȁɕ٥͕́ѡ͍́ѡՙ́()Ѽѡȸ]ѡѕ͕́Mѕ)ݕЁѼȁɕ́ȁ٥䁡)хѡЁѕٕ͡ȁ%Ё݅́ѡ)ЁѡЁ͔͡ѼɕɐȁɕѠ́݅͡)͡ݡ݅́͡Ʌѡͽ݅͡)ЁѼ%Ё݅́ѥɅ͕Ѽɽ)ɽȁɔѥհ)=)չѠMѕЁȁ͕ͥ)ɅѕѕMѕЁѡ)ݡȁѠͽѱ䁥ȁȰq$Ѽɽ)ѡϊtݡݽձ͕ȁչѼȁٕ)ݡ͡ݽձѡͬq$Ѽɽѡt)Mչ͕ɕɕݥѠٔѡЁ͡)ɕͥѥٔѥ锁ٕ䁉Ёɝѽ݅ɑ)ѡи ݅́Ս́͡՝Ё)ݽЁ݅́Ё՝́䁽ȁɥݕɔ)]Ё݅́͡ɥ́q٥ٽ)եгtݡ͡ݱа͡ݽձ)܁ЁѼٕȁхȸQɔ݅́ͼՍЁ)ɹ䁅ЁѡЁɹ䁥́Ѽյє)єѡѱMѕqє)ѱ̰ݔɝɥͥɽѡ̻͡t)́չ̰́͡Mѕ́ѥݥ͑)Ʌչѕѽ́Ʌ̸ɥ)ѡɽ́ѱȁ݅́͡ݥѠ́)͕ɕѠͼЁݥѠѡɕ䁽݅э)ɕѥ́͡ݥѡȰݡѡ́ɕ܁)́䁡յ͡ѕѥ́)ȁɹ䁉Ёѽ䰁Mѕ́ٽɅͱ䁱٥)ѥԁ%ȁݸݽɑ̰+q ɕЁ ȁЁЁѡЁЁѕ)ɽ՝ЁЁѡЁt) ɥ1((((