Can’t Say No
#4
She’s your mama and you love her.
And for most of your life (we’ll let
those teenage years slide), you’ve
been following her advice and doing
what she tells you is best. She’s had
dreams about your wedding day
since you were a little girl, and even
though they may be impractical or
totally unmatched to your wedding,
you’ll feel a little twinge of guilt for
telling her no. Or worse, you may
go along with it and regret it later.
I know she thinks those iris bud
vases from the dollar store will fill
up empty space on the tables, but I
promise you it’s a bad i dea. And if
you’re hesitating about wearing your
grandmother’s dress now, you’ll probably feel even worse about it when
the pictures come back later. Telling
your mom how you really feel about
her hair-brained ideas can be tricky.
Let your mom play a role in the
planning process with your design
team, but make sure they know who
makes the final call. A planner will
be able to take ideas from all parties
and help you make design decisions
that you both can live with.
#5
Guest of Honor
Your wedding day is huge for a lot
of people. You and your fiancé,
obviously, and your families who’ve
helped get you to this point. Your
bridesmaids and groomsmen have
seen you through awful relationships
and have vowed to support your
35
marriage forever. But there’s someone
else whose life is changing today too.
Your mom has likely thought about
the day you’d marry since you were
young. She watched you play wedding—wearing plastic heels and a
giant veil—and she knew that all too
soon you’d be wearing white for real.
Your mother is the guest of honor
at your wedding, and she should be
given the opportunity to enjoy every
minute of her last day with you as
her baby.
I guarantee that you’ll both be much
happier at the end of the night if
she’s glassy-eyed and wistfully watching you walk away than if she’s busy
cleaning up votive candles. Give her
the gift of truly enjoying the day
she’s always imagined for you.
Vendor Contacts
While your mom may have some
personal connections in the biz, she’s
unlikely to have planned enough
weddings to know who is the best
person for each job. Her friend
Betsy who bakes cakes may be giving
you a great deal, but if she’s never
experimented with fondant before,
you’ll be in for a real disaster. You
need someone who’s planned several
weddings to advise you on vendors’
style, ways of working, and mediate
disagreements should they arise.
#6
Making Memories
#7
Your wedding day will fly by like the
most surreal of dreams. I’m not kidding. You’ll wake up, make up, say I
do, dance and go to bed in a complete fog. There are so many incredible things that will happen that day
and sadly, because it’s so momentous,
you’ll forget about a lot of them.
Something I know you won’t forget,
though, is spending the day with
your mom. You’ll want your mom
there when you wake up for the very
last time in her nest. You’ll want to
see her face when your stylist turns
you around in the chair with your
blushed cheeks and veil on. You’ll
want her there to zip your gown, and
gasp when the florist delivers your
bouquet. You will want your mama
there when you’re readying yourself
to walk down the aisle to the person
who’ll now be your main source of
comfort. And if she’s tying on chair
covers, setting up flowers, making
sure the music starts on time, paying
the caterer, and tipping the DJ, she’ll
miss it all. And so will you. Hire
someone whose job it is to finalize all
the details and keep everyone’s stress
at bay.