Wykeham Journal 2015 | Page 25

Cathy has been Ralph’s active support throughout his career but she has never played politics and she has always been her own person. At each of the schools in which they have lived and worked, identifying with the intrinsic character of the institution was an essential first step. ‘Cathy is the loveliest person,’ says a Housemaster’s wife. ‘She is always smiling, interested in us and our families, and she is intelligent. Her annual Christmas party for the children of dons and staff in College Hall was magical and will never be forgotten. She is the perfect Head Man’s wife.’ Cathy Townsend gave me a tour of the School, illuminated by the gleam of the late September sun and her insightful and charming personal editorial. She confided to me her view of her role as Head Man’s wife, what she hoped had been change for good wrought in the past eleven years, her abiding impressions of the institution and what she will most miss. It was striking that Cathy knew the first names of every boy we encountered, no matter his House or age. I never had a conversation with the Head Man of my day, let alone with his elegant, willowy wife; had I done so, I suspect it would have been merely to presage some eventuality that neither I nor my long-suffering parents would have relished! This may indicate that Cathy, as the interview I subsequently conducted with her seemed to confirm, is a one-off, but it is incontrovertibly the sign of a changed environment. It also requires sound judgement. Robert Graves remarks in Goodbye to All That that when his future best man the mountaineer George Mallory taught at pre-Great War Charterhouse, his attempts to be the friend of the boys merely, in Graves’ word, ‘offended’ them. Cathy seems to have learned how to be part of the boys’ lives without intruding; to lend a sympathetic ear without crossing the invisible boundary that needs to exist to sustain the equilibrium of any school. Cathy comes from Perth, Australia, a place I know well. She met Ralph when they were students at the University of Western Australia. She read Music, he changed from Law to English after two years. They married the moment they graduated. Ralph subsequently completed an MA at the University of Kent at Canterbury, where he was nurtured by distinguished OW art historian, Stephen Bann (Coll, 1954-59): Bann wrote to Ralph on his appointment to Winchester saying ‘I thought this would happen one day’. Cathy retrained as a librarian. Following his doctoral studies at Oxford and a Junior Research Fellowship at Lincoln College, Ralph taught for four years at Eton before, at the age of 36, taking up the headmastership of Sydney Grammar School, where he carried out far-reaching reform over ten years; and then at Oundle for six; in both places the couple clearly developed a highly effective style of school leadership. The Wykeham Journal 2015  21