Writers Tricks of the Trade VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4 | Page 15

O N W RITING C HASE S CENES
C AROLYN H OWARD -J OHNSON
A UTHOR OF T HE F RUGAL E DITOR ,
THE WINNINGEST IN HER AWARD - WINNING
H OW T O D O I T F RUGALLY S ERIES OF BOOKS FOR WRITERS
N OTE FROM C AROLYN : This article is excerpted from some editing I did for a writer of exper-
imental fiction when I was on a Greater Los Angeles Writers Society panel. No matter what
genre you prefer, you can apply these suggestions to the chase, getaway, or high action scene
in your script or manuscript before you send it to an agent or publisher or, better still, while
you are writing the first draft.
S
ometimes even the most fascinat-
ing, interesting and irresistible de-
tail can slow down the forward
movement of your story. So as much
as writers are told that detail is im-
portant, purge as much as you can from
your action scenes and put it somewhere
else or dribble it into narrative in other
places in your manuscript. In the process,
ask yourself if your reader really needs to
know the color of the protagonist’s eyes.
As important as detail is, some is better
left to the imagination of the reader. I can
imagine where eye color might be very
important, but—on average—it probably
isn’t necessary. Here are some quick sug-
gestions:
1. Remove some of the detail entirely.
Double check. Make it meets the test!
2. Use stronger verbs—especially
verbs of movement.
3. Use shorter sentences. By doing so,
the rhythm could emulate a fast-beating
heart and the pulse of danger. Note that
clauses slow copy as surely as passive
voice (or tense).
W INTER 2019
4. In the interest of a faster pace, try
dropping into present tense and moving
out of it when the run or danger is past. If
you write the scene that way and wait a
day or two before rereading it, by doing
so, you’ll be able to honestly compare the
effects of the two and adjust the tense
change so it doesn’t feel obtrusive.
5. If you are trying to achieve a truly
heart-beating moment, consider using
fragments. Even one-word fragments.
6. Commas can slow the pace. Some-
times you must follow grammar rules for
commas for clarity. Often that comma
slows things down for the reader. Does
the comma indicate a pause where the
reader wouldn’t normally pause or does it
reinforce a natural pause. Does it really
help with clarity. Would you achieve this
clarity better if you made your long sen-
tence into short ones. This is a style
choice you get to make. You are looking
for the times readers will never notice a
comma is absent. You may choose to dis-
card some of them.
P AGE 10
W RITERS ’ T RICKS OF THE T RADE