Writers Tricks of the Trade VOLUME 8, ISSUE 4 - Page 14

Y OU D ON ’ T S AY ! M ORE R EDUNDANCIES By Mike Dennis and Morgan St. James Mike and Morgan explore the pitfalls of the English language, because so many words are misused. From words that sound alike, to ones that al- most sound alike—redundancies, oxymorons and words that don’t really exist but are used every day. The list goes on, and we’re going to have fun with them in every issue MIKE: Well, Morgan, what's up for this month? MORGAN: Mike, we've still got a problem. MIKE: What's the matter? Did you catch someone splitting an infinitive? MORGAN: No, nothing that serious, thank God. But this is still pretty bad. It seems the outbreak of RAMPANT REDUNDANCIES is worse than we thought. MIKE: Rampant Redundancies? Oh no! Any- thing but that! MORGAN: Yes, I'm afraid it's true. They're coming at us from all sides now. MIKE: Yikes! Just like the giant ants in THEM! MORGAN: Unfortunately, that's right. For in- stance, I just heard a new version of the song about the Man on the Flying Trapeze. Re- member that one? MIKE: Sure, who doesn't? He flies through the air with the greatest of ease, right? MORGAN: That's just it! He flies through the air! MIKE: Fl--ohhhh, I see. MORGAN: It's a good thing he wasn't into scuba diving, you know, or else we'd all be singing about "flying underwater". MIKE: I see what you mean. This is not good. MORGAN: And then...then I was at the doc- tor's and he asked me to fill out a form called "Prior History". MIKE: Oh, no! What other kind of history is there? None that I know of. Can’t have fu- ture or present history. MORGAN: So I asked him if I could fill out a form labeled "Prior Diseases I Haven't Had Yet". MIKE: What did he say to that? MORGAN: He said, "We'd better postpone your appointment until later, Miss St James." MIKE: So what did you do? MORGAN: I just told him I'd rather "postpone it until an hour ago" . W RITERS ’ T RICKS OF THE T RADE P AGE 9 W INTER 2019