Writers Tricks of the Trade Volume 6 Issue 2

PRESS “CONTROL” THEN CLICK “BUY” TO PURCHASE ANY BOOK Eyes in Fiction (Cont’d) There’s a lot more you can do with each of these sentences to bring an even deeper point of view, but right now we’re talking about keeping the LOOKING to a minimum. There’s another aspect to all this that goes back to English grammar classes. In this sentence: Wendy saw Elle had talent, and wanted to help her—the subject/verb is Wendy saw. But that’s not where the sentence should be focused. It should be on WHAT Wendy saw. Elle’s talent brought out the mothering instinct in Wendy I’m not saying never use the eyes. They are important. They bring visuality to scenes in ways nothing else can. Like this: Jane stared in horror at the blood on her hands. But see how not using the eyes all the time makes sentences like this more powerful? More about looking When there are two people in a conversation, there’s no need to SAY they’re looking at each other. It’s normal when you’re with somebody to look at them. It’s assumed by the reader. What’s much more powerful is when they have cause not to look at each other. It’s a way to develop character. A person is so disturbed or touched that they turn away. As an exercise for later, try doing a search in your manuscript for the words look, stare, saw, see, notice, etc. Notice the number of times you use them. You might apply this lesson on looking to heard, knew, tasted, and thought. Remember, when in a point of view, it’s ALL what this person is thinking, hearing, tasting and knowing. Cindy Davis www.fiction-doctor.com www.cdavisnh.com LISTEN TO CINDY on Blog Talk Radio WRITERS’ TRICKS OF THE TRADE PAGE 9 MARCH - APRIL 2016

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