Writers Tricks of the Trade Volume 5, Issue 4 | Page 16

PRESS “CONTROL” THEN CLICK “BUY” TO PURCHASE THE BOOK Life Stories "IT COULDN’T GET MUCH CRAZIER THAN THIS" ROSETTA AND MORGAN IN 1940 DENNIS PONCHER Rosetta Schwartz (1909-2006) EDITOR’S NOTE: With many of the articles in this issue devoted to memoirs, it was appropriate to include a funny Life Story from my own mother’s memoir, “Can We Come In and Laugh, Too?” written 1989 when she was 80 years old and published in 2012. With ten zany children, life was never dull in my grandmother’s house. Rosetta was 95 years old in the cover photo. It’s never too late to write about your life. The year was 1918 and I was nine years old. That was the year World War I was declared. We were still living in the same apartment on Ogden Avenue. My brother Meyer was drafted into the army and was sent to France. He was an M.P. and was there about three years. He got really lonesome for home and wanted to get a furlough, so he invented an excuse and said that my mother was very sick and he wanted to see her before anything serious took place. He hinted that she could die. It was a luxury to have a telephone back then and we knew they would send an inspector to check out his story in person. We didn't know when the inspector would come so we had to be ready to react at a moment’s notice to make sure our mother looked very sick. BUY One day the doorbell rang and sure enough it was the inspector. Thank God for the three flights of steps to climb. In the time it took him to make it to the top, we had enough time to prepare the scene. My mother was in the kitchen cleaning a chicken. In my day when someone bought a chicken, it had to be cleaned from scratch, feathers and all, before you cut it up to cook. Now-a-days you go into the market and purchase a chicken, or parts of a chicken, and it's all ready for use. That’s progress. ROSETTA AND FRIENDS AT THE BEACH CIRCA 1929 (SHE’S THE ONE WITH THE BANJO) The boys grabbed her just as she was, dress, apron, shoes and all, and GW7FVB6