Writers Tricks of the Trade MARCH-APRIL 2015 | Page 33

PRESS CONTROL THEN CLICK THE COVER TO PURCHASE A BOOK . I'VE GOTTA BE ME (Cont’d) SUBMISSIONS FOR THE Yes, I knew that this was it for me. A lifetime of harming and being harmed was coming to an end. A voice inside me said that this was going to be my last drunken rage. I wasn't going to get away with this one. Strangely, I didn't even want to get away with this one. But I did want to see him suffer. I stood over him writhing in pain, covered in his own blood, squirming for dear life. I had sliced the punk-calling him a rat bastard repeatedly-at least a dozen times. But there is no reason to continue, a voice inside me said. And then I really felt my insides surge and turn as I watched him bleed. Sixty years of insanity had come to this. I had gone off the deep end, once and for all, in the most unlikely of places-a community college classroom. I had come home that morning from another of my 72hour benders of drinking, gambling, and living the wiseguy lifestyle that I had been living for. .. well, most of my 59 years on Earth. I would drink so much and for so long that I would almost drink myself sober again. So when I staggered into the house that morning, I was dazed from lack of sleep and from watching day turn into night and back into day. Everything seemed larger, closer and louder to me. When I walked into the house that morning, it was eerily quiet. I called out to Laura, my wife. No answer. I noticed the crack of my daughter Tanya's bedroom door. I went to open it. She was on her bed asleep, curled up in a ball. I closed the door and headed to the kitchen. Laura stood over the stove. My voiced sounded hoarse from my three-day spree. Life Story FEATURE ARE OPEN. JUST ABOUT EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING THEY EXPERIENCED THAT OTHERS WOULD ENJOY READING ABOUT. WE LOOK FOR STORIES FILLED WITH DRAMA, HUMOR, INSPIRATION OR NOSTALGIA—OR, IN THE CASE OF "I GOTTA BE ME"—SHOCK. SUBMISSION GUIDELINES ARE AT THE FRONT OF THIS EZINE. CHECK Life Stories IN PAST ISSUES. LINKS TO ARCHIVED ISSUES ARE AT writerstricksofthetra de.blogspot.com "Why's Tanya still sleeping?" "You haven't been home in three days. Did you forget yesterday was her birthday?" "Let me ask you again and maybe I'll get a straight answer this time." My voice went up, "Why is Tanya sleeping? Why isn't she at school? Is she sick?" Laura turned and walked past me and out of the kitchen. I followed her. "Are you gonna answer me or what?" She kept walking in silence, avoiding the question and trying to avoid me. Like the thick-headed Calabrese that I am, I wasn't going to accept no answer. I followed her into the living room. WRITERS’ TRICKS OF THE TRADE Cont’d… PAGE 23 MAR-APR 2015