THE THREE LITTLE PIGS - FROM THE WOLF ’ S POINT OF VIEW
YOU DON ’ T SAY !
SOUND-ALIKE WORDS DID YOU WRITE IT RIGHT ? Why you can ’ t trust Spell Check to catch the wrong word
Back in 2009 Morgan St . James and Mike Dennis wrote the You Don ’ t Say column for a newsletter . They had so much fun with it they even pitched a book , but that didn ’ t happen . Several columns have been recovered and one will run each month . We hope you enjoy them .
MIKE DENNIS BOOKS BY MIKE DENNIS
THE THREE LITTLE PIGS - FROM THE WOLF ’ S POINT OF VIEW
This is a fairy tale gone wrong — so many words are wrong !
It awl started when eye decided to bake a cake . I found eye had know sugar so I new eye had two borrow sum from my neighbor . Butt my neighbor was a pig , and knot a very smart won . Wood ewe believe it — he billed his house out of straw ?
When I wrapped on the door , it fell write in . It ’ s knot rite to just walk into a house , sew I called , “ Pig , pig ?” Know answer .
I was about two leaf when eye had to sneeze . It was more like a huff and puff , and two my surprise , I blew thee house down . Write in the middle of thee straw was my poor pig neighbor — dead as a doornail . Sew I eight him up .
Sum say I was a cold blooded killer and a cannibal . Know I wasn ’ t ! It was an accident . And , after all , it wood knot bee write to pass up a good ham dinner . But I still didn ’ t halve thee sugar .
Sew I innocently went two my next neighbor ’ s house , who happened two bee the first pig ’ s brother . Knot quite as dumb , he billed his house from sticks . Being very polite , I knocked on the door . “ Yoo hoo , Mr . Pig . It ’ s wolf . Can eye come in ?”
Yew no what he said ? “ Go away , I ’ m busy grooming the hairs on my chinny chin chin .”
I was about two turn and leaf when I felt another sneeze coming on . Before I new it , I huffed and puffed and sneezed a grate sneeze , and darned if his house didn ’ t fall down to . Just like his brother , the pig was lying there in the middle of the sticks , stone cold dead . What ’ s a woof two dew ? My mama said its bad two waist food , sew I had to eat him up . Yew no , it was know worse then halving a second helping .
I was feeling a little full , butt still kneaded the sugar for my cake . Sew I tried won more neighbor .
Yeah , yeah , also a pig . I didn ’ t want two tell him his to brothers were dead because he might knot give me thee sugar if he had it .
WRITERS ’ TRICKS OF THE TRADE
PAGE 9
SPRING 2018