There is no finger to point here nor is there one party who
reward for minimal effort? If people are not learning these basic
should be blamed for the gradual downfall of courtship and
principles from their parents, who are they going to learn them
the systematic destruction of the monogamous 20-something.
from? Negative relationships can start at a young age and very
If women collectively refused to give themselves to guys who
easily begin a pattern that will continue into adulthood if it is
seemingly get what they want without putting in any effort,
never broken.
then men would be forced to step it up and do what it takes
to get a quality woman, or they’d get no women at all. Are guys
to blame? Sure, of course. Are women also? Yes.
If young men and women get a certain view of relationships
in their mind, it is only natural that they will continue to gravitate towards the same type of people and the same type of
I believe one of the problems our generations are facing is a lack
scenarios, because they think that is what is ‘normal’ and it is
of role models. Who is in the mainstream really addressing these
also comfortable.
issues? Who is out there helping our youth truly value themselves
and therefore not growing up into adults who accept less than
they know they deserve?
It’s a vicious cycle. If men have no idea how to treat women,
women who do have higher standards will eventually get so tired
of being alone that they will decide to be a little more flexible in
And, who is out there teaching our young men how to treat
what they accept. Then a little more flexible. Then a little more
the women who do value themselves, and won’t accept the
flexible, until they end up with someone who…you guessed,
apathetic offer of some schmuck who is looking to get maximum
it has no idea how to treat them. Then after a few months they
How many dating advice articles do you think are floating
is no absolute when it comes to right or wrong. While there
around online? Hundreds of thousands? Millions? More? I can
of course are valuable lessons and principles to be learned,
tell you that this is the 477th article on this website, most of
and we would all (myself included) be well served to contin-
which are on the topic(s) of dating and relationships.
ue educating ourselves and work to be better with whatever
When you come across articles on this topic, you often find
‘rules’ or ‘guidelines’ of how people should act in all phases of
a relationship. We are still worried about how long we should
wait after a date to text or call him or her. We have arbitrary
lengths of time being laid out for us by someone we have
never met to tell us when to sleep with the person we are
developing feelings for so we don’t send them the wrong
message. We are basically inundated with do’s and don’ts
that are supposed to somehow be universal.
gender we are attracted to – the truth is there is only one rule
you will ever need to know when making dating decisions:
There are no rules.
As a writer on the topic, I can do my best to use knowledge I
have absorbed from personal experiences and endless conversations with men and women about their experiences as well,
but the ultimate truth always remains – I don’t know how you
or the person you are dating are feeling in your hearts and in
your minds. Nobody does. No “dating expert,” no “dating coach,”
Obviously, with over 7 billion different personalities in the
no professional on the topic will ever be feeling your feelings.
world all interacting with each other on a daily basis, there
For that reason, it is always important to keep in mind that
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