#WORLDCLASS Leader - Page 30

There is no finger to point here nor is there one party who reward for minimal effort? If people are not learning these basic should be blamed for the gradual downfall of courtship and principles from their parents, who are they going to learn them the systematic destruction of the monogamous 20-something. from? Negative relationships can start at a young age and very If women collectively refused to give themselves to guys who easily begin a pattern that will continue into adulthood if it is seemingly get what they want without putting in any effort, never broken. then men would be forced to step it up and do what it takes to get a quality woman, or they’d get no women at all. Are guys to blame? Sure, of course. Are women also? Yes. If young men and women get a certain view of relationships in their mind, it is only natural that they will continue to gravitate towards the same type of people and the same type of I believe one of the problems our generations are facing is a lack scenarios, because they think that is what is ‘normal’ and it is of role models. Who is in the mainstream really addressing these also comfortable. issues? Who is out there helping our youth truly value themselves and therefore not growing up into adults who accept less than they know they deserve? It’s a vicious cycle. If men have no idea how to treat women, women who do have higher standards will eventually get so tired of being alone that they will decide to be a little more flexible in And, who is out there teaching our young men how to treat what they accept. Then a little more flexible. Then a little more the women who do value themselves, and won’t accept the flexible, until they end up with someone who…you guessed, apathetic offer of some schmuck who is looking to get maximum it has no idea how to treat them. Then after a few months they How many dating advice articles do you think are floating is no absolute when it comes to right or wrong. While there around online? Hundreds of thousands? Millions? More? I can of course are valuable lessons and principles to be learned, tell you that this is the 477th article on this website, most of and we would all (myself included) be well served to contin- which are on the topic(s) of dating and relationships. ue educating ourselves and work to be better with whatever When you come across articles on this topic, you often find ‘rules’ or ‘guidelines’ of how people should act in all phases of a relationship. We are still worried about how long we should wait after a date to text or call him or her. We have arbitrary lengths of time being laid out for us by someone we have never met to tell us when to sleep with the person we are developing feelings for so we don’t send them the wrong message. We are basically inundated with do’s and don’ts that are supposed to somehow be universal. gender we are attracted to – the truth is there is only one rule you will ever need to know when making dating decisions: There are no rules. As a writer on the topic, I can do my best to use knowledge I have absorbed from personal experiences and endless conversations with men and women about their experiences as well, but the ultimate truth always remains – I don’t know how you or the person you are dating are feeling in your hearts and in your minds. Nobody does. No “dating expert,” no “dating coach,” Obviously, with over 7 billion different personalities in the no professional on the topic will ever be feeling your feelings. world all interacting with each other on a daily basis, there For that reason, it is always important to keep in mind that 3 0 W O R L D C L A S S M AG A Z I N E S . C O M | JA N UA RY 2 0 1 5