TEA ROUND TIPS
3:46:OO
Kitchen catwalk round two.
Realise that you have indeed
forgotten to do the finances.
Bring up your office’s custom tea
spreadsheet on your smartphone and
lay it on the unit.
3:3O:OO
3:O7:OO
Looks like Sandra updated it this
morning; she doesn’t usually ask for
two and a half of soft demerara.
Oh, look, Julie’s on the agave syrup
and gunpowder again and Dave’s
upped his steeping time by 15%.
That’s going to skew the brews
no end.
2:58:OO
O:5O:OO
Steeping over. Put down Longfellow’s
Greatest Poetry and prepare the
bin for your patent-pending teabag
flip. Miss. Divide the tea
bags. Prepare
Sarah’s single-
origin loose leaf.
1:15:OO 2:49.OO
With 35 seconds left you make the
executive decision: Julie can forgo her
recreational soya use. You saw her eat a
cream puff yesterday.
Busted, Julia.
Milk. You pour a perfect
round and then realise
Julie has soya.
O:35:OO
AFTER-
THOUGHT
O:O3:33
Tea spilt on hand. Tea
burning hand. Act cool. Kitchen catwalk
number three. Eyes
ahead, soldier.
O:O5:54 O:2O:OO
Gasp. You forgot to
make Dave’s.
Desks in sight.
O:O2:15
Where is
everyone? Everyone’s
gone to that
finance meeting. Oh, wait.
Dave is here.
O:O1:O1 -O:1O:OO -O:12:OO
We have a
nagging suspicion,
based on the
botched attempts
above by a brave
volunteer, that
there really isn’t
any such thing as
a perfect five-
minute round. You
can give it your
best shot, just
know that trouble
is brewing if you
do. The perfect
storm in a teacup!
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