REFRESHING
TEA ROUND TIPS
Impress the team by nailing their drink orders, down to a tea.
The office tea round: an easy way into the cool gang, or the thankless
task of interns and people-pleasers?
We live in a nation where dunking the wrong kind of biscuit, or even
dunking the right kind of biscuit but for too long, or at the wrong angle,
can ruin your day. In said nation, the office drinks round is an act that
must be handled with utter precision, enacted with all the proper respect
and grace of an ancient tea ceremony.
Making tea for everyone is a little thing that makes a big difference.
After all, you can’t spell ‘team’ without ‘tea’. (Sorry.) So here’s a play-by-
play of how to nail that tea round in five minutes, for minimum faff and
maximum pleasure.
5:OO:OO
Start your
stopwatch
Stand up and announce: Right, would
anyone like a cup of tea?
Naturally, all will remain deep at work out of
politeness so you must ask individually:
Sandra, Julie, Sarah, you fancy a cup of tea?
Yes? Yes.
4:59:OO
4:48:OO
Pick up the tea tray and sweep the mugs.
Do not comment on what appears to be
dried porridge at the bottom of Dave’s
mug. Classic cup configuration for a five-
minute brew.
4:31:OO
You forgot your own mug and go back.
You’re obliged to say something funny
when you pick it up:
Forgot my own mug! What next?
The finances!?
4:O3:OO
1O
Kitchen catwalk. If anyone
passes you smile roguishly,
like you’re up to something a
little suspicious.