Women's Elevation Magazine May 2015 - Page 31

change the generations to come. In my family, there’s been a history of drug abuse and perversion and just so much. I could say, “Because my parents have done this and done that, then that’s my destiny but it doesn’t have to be!” K. Frison: In thinking about negative vs. positive events, has there ever been a situation where you dealt with a negative thing but now you can realize that it had positive effects? J. Tyler: I would say my whole life. (laughing) I mean, God has a way of [if you allow Him] taking the negative things that happen and using them for His glory. Like I said earlier, one of the wake-up calls for me was when my best friend was murdered in a drive-by shooting. That was a wake-up call and it was such a negative thing and I’m not saying that God said, “Okay! I’ve got to do this so that this can happen.” But I allowed for God to be used even in that moment. And I think for me, all of those different things- NOW- they’re positive because they help other people. They help other people to know that they can overcomeno matter what. I’ve been through a lot- from drugs to exotic dancing but now they can be used in a positive way because I can relate to people who are there. And even those people who haven’t had to do any of those things, it’s just that I’m able to really just share more on the power of overcoming and transformation. So God has a way of taking all of those negative things that happen in your life and if you allow Him, He’ll use them for His glory. It’s like, “Yeah- this was negative but I’m bigger than all of it!” K. Frison: In thinking about women and relationships, what would you say to women who are single but seem to be surrounded by friends and loved ones who are all getting engaged/married and having children? J. Tyler: I was in a place in my life, at one point where I just wanted to be married. It seemed like everyone around me was getting married. This was around 2007. All of my closest friends started getting married and I started feeling like, “Well- it has to be my season too!” I got into this relationship, a courtship with this guy. Deep down, I knew that this was not for me. And deep down, we know it because God is always speaking to us but sometimes, we allow our own desires [to be married] to overshadow what God is trying to say. So, I did that. I would try to rationalize and say, “Okay- this has to be my husband.” Every time I would pray and ask God- because one of the things that I always tell women is, “You want to be praying, ‘God- expose, reveal, and remove.’” Women’s Elevation Magazine | 31