REGULARS
Here’s the thing, as you knew all
along I’m sure, hot yoga is definitely
not about sexy good-looking sorts
gently stretching and achieving
fantastically beautiful fit bodies.
You can be as ugly as the back end
of a bus and still get in the class.
Fitness
“Is this the advanced cold yoga?
No? Beginner hot? Oh yeah, I’m in
the wrong place. I’m looking for
advanced chilly-as-frost yoga. Sorry
gotta go”. Big sigh. I didn’t even try
it. Yup. Coward. Comfortable, nonsweaty coward – I am well aware.
child starting grade one and freaking out in the playground. “Look
Julie…see the pretty colors of all
the mats? Wow! We’ll just set up
right here beside each other and you
know what? I’ll get you a strap and
a fun bolster! You just don’t worry
As I was trying to slink away unnoticed, I ran into a friend of mine
who loves, loves, loves yoga. She
gently blocked my way, clotheslining
me past the Starbucks and dragged
me back in the gym, explaining the
wondrous benefits of hot yoga.
I remained unconvinced but she did
manage to cajole me into considering
beginner Hatha yoga. After a latte
and a brownie to think it all over,
we headed back to the yoga studio.
about a thing.“ Wait – why do I
need a strap? What do you need
a strap for? Do I get tied up or to
another person I don’t know? I’m
not that comfortable with people in
my personal space! Sandy diverted my panic by introducing me
to a very nice lady beside us, who
clearly had done this before. She
smiled, patted my hand, and then
told me to let go of her arm.
I LIKED THE
AMOUNT OF
TIME YOU GET
TO LIE DOWN
Hot yoga is all about the temperature
of the room. Africa-freaking hot.
Stifling. Walking through the door
was like saying to yourself, “What I
want to do is experience a hot flash
for an hour, with no relief in sight,
in front of other people, possibly
dude celebrities, while doing yoga.”
I realized immediately, while taking off my shoes in fact, that if I
stayed in this sauna and tried to do
yoga, I wouldn’t get ten minutes
into it before I started hollering out
confessions like a sinner at a desert
sweat lodge. I looked around, took
three shallow breaths and said,
66 | whiteoaksclub.com | fall 2013
My friend, we’ll call her Sandy (cuz
that’s her name), spoke to me in
soft calming tones, like you do to a
The class was led by a lovely
boho-bendy yoga girl, who wears
all the trendy yoga wear and
jewelry. Yes, there’s jewelry...