WNY Family Magazine September 2018 - Page 43

Warning Signs Parents need to decipher the following: Is the situation a typi- cal adolescent learning experience or something their teen needs to extricate himself from? Look for changes in behavior. If a teen suddenly becomes se- cretive or starts to ignore rules that he used to abide by, trouble might be brewing. Rapini warns that if your teen becomes totally obsessed with pleasing a group of friends, there is a good chance the power balance has shifted and your teen is being used. If a teen’s friends exhibit the following behaviors, parents should be concerned: • Treat their own parents and other adults with disdain • Belittle your teen • Encourage disobedience at school • Exhibit rude behavior in public What’s a Parent to Do? When parents disapprove of a new group of friends, it’s diffi- cult to handle because teens often view criticism of their friends as a personal attack on their own character. Therefore, parents need to tread carefully because too much criticism will likely encourage the friendships. Dr. Shubin explains, “I think the trick here is diversion, not confrontation with criticism. If the parent says anything negative, the teen is likely to move closer to the criticized group.” Rapini urges, “Set time aside each week to connect with your teen.” Scheduling time for weekly walks or other activities your teen enjoys will work wonders because you’ll have time to com- municate. You’ll gain your teen’s trust if you’re a good listener and open-minded. COMING UP IN DECEMBER 2018 Exploring Educa tion A Special Pull-Out Section However, if illegal behaviors are a concern, parents should in- tercede. Seeking help from school officials is a good place to start. TIPS & TALES “To forbid makes it more inviting. We have a family talk about what we are concerned about, and then we restrict the amount of time and places they can go or hang out with that crowd. At times, we would only allow hanging out at our house. This kind of com- promise, for the most part, has worked out well.” — Felicia Sealey, Hyde Park, NY “I don’t think you can tell them who they can’t hang out with, but you can point out some bad choices that friends have made and what the consequences could be. I have learned with my daughter that it works best if I get her opinion first before voicing mine.” — Risa Dean Holmes, Evergreen, CO “As with any issue, teens need to know where the lines are, or they will keep pushing until they find them. Many push until they fall off a cliff so to speak.” — Bev Doney, Essex Junction, VT Myrna Beth Haskell is the author of “LIONS and TIGERS and TEENS: Expert advice and support for the conscientious parent just like you” (Unlimited Publishing, LLC). Her work has ap- peared in publications across the U.S. as well as internationally. Learn more at www.myrnahaskell.com. Want to reach local parents who VALUE the EDUCATION of their children? We reach nearly 60,000 of them each month! Showcase your school, organization or education-related business to tens of thousands of WNY parents in this annual pull-out section. Editorial content focuses on various aspects of education in WNY, targeted to elementary grades and higher, including college. EX PLORING WNY FAMI LY MAGAZIN EDUC ATIO E • DECE MBER 2016 • PULL -OUT N & r 2016 SAVE Decembe WNY Family 25 DEADLINES: Space Reservation: Friday, November 9, 2018 Copy & Materials: Monday, November 12, 2018 For more information, call your account rep directly or call our Advertising Department at 716-836-3486 ext. 104. September 2018 WNY Family 43