nized. Years ago, before stores started
delivering groceries to homes, I was
amazed when she told me she ordered
bulk staple items like paper towels and
toilet paper from Amazon. She uses meal
kit services like Hello Fresh to supple-
ment local grocery shopping. And, yes,
she has someone clean her house once
a month.
My daughter can afford to pay for
these things. But what about the moms
who work 40 hours a week or more and
can’t? What about single moms who
don’t have a partner on their team to
help?
Certainly, I don’t have the answers
to what has been referred to as the “su-
perwoman squeeze” — the pressure
that many women feel in fulfilling their
multiple roles and performing at a high
level across personal, family, and work
responsibilities.
Experts say it’s an increasingly
prevalent phenomenon, and can be as-
sociated with negative psychological
feelings of guilt and a sense of inferi-
ority and inadequacy. If so, how do we
combat “the squeeze”?
To get some answers, I sent out a
query to a forum that reaches profes-
sional women across the United States,
and was overwhelmed with responses,
some of which I share below in honor of
Mother’s Day this year, and on behalf of
superwomen everywhere!
Says Sara Borgstede of Tonawa-
nda, NY, “I run a full-time business as
a writer, speaker, and website owner
(www.theholymess.com) and I also work
part-time as a social worker for a local
non-profit organization. My husband
and I have 5 children, so I can definitely
relate to the struggles of a busy woman
who is trying to balance it all. One of the
best things I’ve done to find balance is
to get selfish. Ten years ago, I was 100
pounds heavier than I am today. I was so
busy taking care of others but failed to
take care of myself. When I started my
weight loss journey for the final time, I
began to understand the importance of
regular exercise, time spent on healthy
meal prep, and time to relax and unwind.
I schedule these activities into my week
first and the rest of life’s craziness has to
fit around these priorities. It’s made all
the difference in both maintaining my
weight loss and living a happy life.”
Author of The Ultimate New Mom’s
Cookbook, mother to Lila, 18 months,
and Jack, 4, Aurora Satler lives in New
York City. Says Satler, “Today’s moms
are pressured to be and have it all and
then to beautifully post about their won-
derful lives all over social media. I don’t
think any of us live up to the image in our
heads. I’ve always had an image of my-
self in executive attire somehow wearing
heels and pushing a stroller with a happy,
clean and well-dressed child. I work in
the culinary field so I don’t even need
to wear a suit and heels. Children mix
as well as oil and vinegar, and now I’m
rocking the double-wide stroller in NYC
which is like pushing a loveseat through
traffic. I think the way to happiness is to
admit that you just can’t have it all... at
once. You can have home cooked meals
from scratch, a spotless house, a gor-
geous manicure and blown out hair, and
enjoy wild adventures with your kids but
not ALL IN ONE DAY. And, truthfully,
no one can do that despite anything you
continued on page 51
May 2019 WNY Family 7