WNY Family Magazine May 2019 | Page 7

nized. Years ago, before stores started delivering groceries to homes, I was amazed when she told me she ordered bulk staple items like paper towels and toilet paper from Amazon. She uses meal kit services like Hello Fresh to supple- ment local grocery shopping. And, yes, she has someone clean her house once a month. My daughter can afford to pay for these things. But what about the moms who work 40 hours a week or more and can’t? What about single moms who don’t have a partner on their team to help? Certainly, I don’t have the answers to what has been referred to as the “su- perwoman squeeze” — the pressure that many women feel in fulfilling their multiple roles and performing at a high level across personal, family, and work responsibilities. Experts say it’s an increasingly prevalent phenomenon, and can be as- sociated with negative psychological feelings of guilt and a sense of inferi- ority and inadequacy. If so, how do we combat “the squeeze”? To get some answers, I sent out a query to a forum that reaches profes- sional women across the United States, and was overwhelmed with responses, some of which I share below in honor of Mother’s Day this year, and on behalf of superwomen everywhere! Says Sara Borgstede of Tonawa- nda, NY, “I run a full-time business as a writer, speaker, and website owner (www.theholymess.com) and I also work part-time as a social worker for a local non-profit organization. My husband and I have 5 children, so I can definitely relate to the struggles of a busy woman who is trying to balance it all. One of the best things I’ve done to find balance is to get selfish. Ten years ago, I was 100 pounds heavier than I am today. I was so busy taking care of others but failed to take care of myself. When I started my weight loss journey for the final time, I began to understand the importance of regular exercise, time spent on healthy meal prep, and time to relax and unwind. I schedule these activities into my week first and the rest of life’s craziness has to fit around these priorities. It’s made all the difference in both maintaining my weight loss and living a happy life.” Author of The Ultimate New Mom’s Cookbook, mother to Lila, 18 months, and Jack, 4, Aurora Satler lives in New York City. Says Satler, “Today’s moms are pressured to be and have it all and then to beautifully post about their won- derful lives all over social media. I don’t think any of us live up to the image in our heads. I’ve always had an image of my- self in executive attire somehow wearing heels and pushing a stroller with a happy, clean and well-dressed child. I work in the culinary field so I don’t even need to wear a suit and heels. Children mix as well as oil and vinegar, and now I’m rocking the double-wide stroller in NYC which is like pushing a loveseat through traffic. I think the way to happiness is to admit that you just can’t have it all... at once. You can have home cooked meals from scratch, a spotless house, a gor- geous manicure and blown out hair, and enjoy wild adventures with your kids but not ALL IN ONE DAY. And, truthfully, no one can do that despite anything you continued on page 51 May 2019 WNY Family 7