SUPERWOMAN SQUEEZE continued...
see online or in a magazine. It’s not only
exhausting but also unenjoyable.” impressing others, we will have rid our-
selves of the squeeze.
“The pressure to do it all sucks the
fun out of a woman’s life as she rushes
to excel at, rather than enjoy, one thing
after another. In doing so, not only does
she lose the ability to have fun, but she
also loses the ability to be fun company
for herself, her friends and especially,
her spouse,” says Beth Liebling of
Houston, Texas, a divorced, middle-
aged, mother of five children and Bubbe
to her beloved granddaughter. She’s also
an Ivy-League educated, former board-
certified divorce attorney. I could go on and on; I lived this for
way too many years with my five kids
and law practice and workaholic hus-
band. Thank you for helping others wise
up and embrace joy in life.”
After witnessing hundreds of di-
vorces, including her own (after twenty-
two years of marriage), Liebling started
thinking about relationships different-
ly. She found herself looking to heal her-
self and find what had been missing in
her own life, as well as help the people
who’d been her clients. So, she opened
Darling Way, a uniquely romantic, el-
egantly sexy boutique in the historic
Houston Heights and online at https://
darlingway.com/
Liebling goes on to point out, “In her
chase to keep up appearances for the out-
side world, it’s easy to lose sight of those
whose love and support we take for grant-
ed. But, who can, or wants to, keep up
with a superhero who spends all her time
zipping around solving the world’s prob-
lems instead of snuggling together on the
couch like they did when they were dat-
ing? Who wants to have hurried romantic
intimacy with a superhero who is in a rush
to tend to the next chore on her list?”
“The only way to combat this
drain,” says Liebling, “is to stop pre-
tending we can have our cake and eat it,
too. We can’t. We are all superwomen,
yet we are human. We need to accept
our humanity and focus on the priorities
that we choose in our individual lives.
We need to love ourselves as much as
we love our families and friends, and we
need to allow those we love to express it
while we graciously accept it. We need
to excel at taking care of ourselves as
much as we do them. We need to think
long-term happiness and not short-term
appearances. When we accept that nur-
turing, pleasing, and pleasuring our heart
is more rewarding and motivating than
Julia Egan, Ph.D., is in her mid-
thirties and the mother of two boys. The
mission of her website www.balanc-
ingbravely.com is supporting working
moms to achieve career success, while
finding balance between work, family,
and finances.
Egan comments, “As women
are pressured into the ‘superwoman
squeeze,’ we need to redefine what suc-
cess and balance look like in our lives.
Instead of believing that we can ‘do it
all,’ we need to reevaluate what we value
most, the activities that bring us joy, and
then find ways to prioritize those tasks
and activities at home, at work, and in
our own time.”
She goes on to say, “Instead of fo-
cusing on being less busy, let’s find ways
to fill our time more intentionally. For
me, that means spending my time at work
doing more intellectually challenging
tasks, and less time doing admin work
and attending meetings (activities that
bore and drain me). With my two kids,
that means spending our time in less
structured ways, even though I’m a su-
per structured person. We enjoy our time
together most when we are just playing,
rather than running around to different
lessons, groups, and sports. Success is
not defined by an end goal, but making
sure that our days are full of the things
that make us happy.”
Michele Miller is the founder, editor, and
publisher of Western New York Family,
now celebrating 35 years in publication.
Widowed in 1993 when her children were
10 and 13, she has been known to be a
superwoman while raising her kids as a
single parent and working to grow the
magazine to replace her late husband’s
lost income. But, in recent years she has
re-prioritized her life to avoid burnout
and become “semi-retired,” doing the
magazine tasks she enjoys most, and del-
egating others to her very capable staff.
FAMILY TRAVEL
continued...
at the school, led our free community
beach walk. She likes to tell her young
students that she has “super powers” and
can identify every shell. We tried but we
were not able to trip her up. Her enthu-
siasm for the sea and beaches was con-
tagious.
Biking on Sanibel is one of the most
popular activities for the entire family
and even four-legged members. There
are 22 miles of bike paths and it is easy
to bike to the beach, to a restaurant or
to Ding Darling National Refuge where
bikers can travel along the Wildlife
Trail. Bikes can be rented for the after-
noon, the day or week.
Billy’s Bikes offers an amazing ar-
ray of bikes for every family. There are
tricycles for adults and children, two and
four seat surreys, extra seats for toddlers
and young children, tandem bikes, chil-
dren’s bikes and even trailer attachments
for children and pets. They also provide
beach wheelchairs and Segway tours.
Travel Tip of the Month: For in-
formation on Fort Myers and the islands
visit: fortmyers-sanibel.com or call 239-
338-3000 or 1-800-237-6444.
Deborah Williams is a veteran travel
writer who lives in Holland, NY. Her
work has appeared in national and in-
ternational publications and she is the
recipient of the Society of American
Travel Writers’ Lowell Thomas Gold
Travel Writing Award.
May 2019 WNY Family 51