Empower
Ability
Inspire Advocate
5 Emotional
Sticking Points
of Parenting
a Child with
Special Needs
Special
Needs
Potential Thri˙
Growth Strategies
— by Krystyann
Krywko, Ed.D.
A
this practice as “observing yourself.”
s a parent, it is emotion-
ally overwhelming to have
your child diagnosed with a
special need. When raising a child with
a special need it is easy to either let your
emotions take a back-burner to be dealt
with later while you continue to plow
ahead with looking after your child’s
needs, or to allow your emotional reac-
tion to become so overbearing that you
are unable to figure out what the next
steps are for your child.
When parental emotions are not ad-
dressed properly they can become “stick-
ing points” in the process of raising your
child, and can be detrimental in mov-
ing forward with appropriate responses.
Dr. Stanley Greenspan, in his book The
Child with Special Needs: Encouraging
Intellectual and Emotional Growth, be-
lieves that parents of children with spe-
cial needs have the added responsibility
of understanding themselves before they
are able to help their child. He refers to
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Dr. Greenspan suggests that as in-
dividuals we all have ways of feeling
and behaving that are automatic and
that influence the way we relate to our
children. These emotional responses are
very much a part of who we are as par-
ents as they are learned from our own
families, as a result of circumstances in
our lives, and from the culture in which
we live.
Below is a brief description of five
emotional “sticking points” where par-
ents often become trapped in their un-
derstanding of and adaptation to their
child’s special need.
Accepting the
Diagnosis
The moment of diagnosis is often
the most difficult sticking point. Even
if you were the one who suspected that
your child might have a special need,
it can still be emotionally challenging
to move on from the diagnosis. Your
child’s diagnosis might feel like an in-
credibly negative moment in your life,
but it is actually a very positive step in
moving towards finding her the help she
needs.
Removing your
Emotions
The tricky part during this stage is to
work through your own emotions even
as you move forward with your child’s
diagnosis. You might have all sorts of
pre-conceived ideas floating around in
your head about a certain approach, or
you might have hang-ups about what