I have had to make a lot of sacri-
fices. I don’t go out at night or on the
weekends. On the rare occasion, I have
something I really want to attend, Cece
changes her hours or my brother comes
up from Pittsburgh. This past summer,
I gave up on the idea of going to the
beach and bought an inflatable pool so
that I could entice some of my friends
and family to come over. The other plus
is that I do take longer walks than ever
with my Shih Tzu, Auggie, whom my
mother adores. And as a result of mov-
ing constantly to take care of my moth-
er, I have lost 30 pounds and counting.
But she is my mother. She birthed
me. It was never a question for me. She
and Dad were always there for me and
gave me a lot of life’s advantages— ed-
ucation, trips, culture, a large extended
family. It’s payback time, pure and
simple. This circle of life thing can be
very trying and life after Mom won’t be
easy either.
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But I remember being in my par-
ent’s car as the funeral procession drove
to my maternal grandmother’s grave
back in the late 1970s. My dad was
driving and my brother and I were in
the back seats just like when we were
kids. I remember my stoic mother say-
ing she had no regrets about her mother
dying because she had been right there
taking care of her the last few years of
her life.
I resolved to say the same on the
day of her funeral. Regret is insidious.
My little mother wouldn’t want that for
me either. Being a caregiver is usually
not a job you apply for. But you do your
best. Be realistic. Research and try a
service. There are many available these
days. Above all, you will learn patience
and appreciation of the simple things in
life. Because the burdens will indeed
become blessings.
Susan Lojacono lives in Buffalo and is
a former member of Western New York
Family’s staff.
March 2019 WNY Family 43