A Parent Pep Talk
Expect
Memories,
Not Mayhem
From The Middle School Years
— by Christina Katz
A
ny parent who has sur-
vived the middle school
years will assure you that
you can navigate them, too. Although
the honeymoon period of elementary
school is over and middle school comes
with ample trials and tribulations for
most kids, try not to expect the worst.
Parents who welcome the challenges
of middle school as opportunities for
growth will still be smiling by the time
they attend the eighth grade promotion
ceremony.
Expect your child to face and over-
come hurdles in middle school. Middle
school is supposed to be about mak-
ing mistakes and bouncing back from
disappointments. Kids who navigate
turbulence with spunk will mature in
middle school. Kids who struggle with
self-awareness and assertiveness are
going to need extra support to develop
skills they will need in high school.
If you want your kids to thrive in
middle school, don’t leave them to their
own devices. Parents who expect ev-
erything to be hunky dory all the time
will likely be disappointed. Parents who
think kids can figure everything out for
themselves at this age with little adult
supervision may want to wake up. This
is middle school, the preparation for
high school, which is the preparation
for college, which is preparation for
adulthood. Your child is going to need
you each and every day.
Middle-schoolers are embarking
on a two or three-year journey and they
will come out the other end of the pro-
38 WNY Family December 2018
cess transformed. Whether or not they
are changed for the better is largely up
to you, parents. Here is a list of some of
the challenges middle school kids face
and how tuned-in parents can help.
Expressing
Individuality
At the end of the summer, sit down
with your child and make a list of words
that describe who he is. Do this every
year before heading back to school to
remind your student that he has inter-
ests and he’s allowed to like whatever
he chooses. This list will evolve over
the years, and that’s great, too.
Expanding
Learning Abilities
Middle school is an opportunity to
try new ways of learning. Kids will get
to do science labs for the first time, peer
edit each other’s writing, work on proj-
ects with partners or in groups. Talk to
your kids about how they are adjusting
to these new learning modes so you can
help smooth the way.
Dealing With
Social Pressures
How much social pressure exists in
middle school? Tons. So roll up your
sleeves, parents, and always be ready
to troubleshoot. The best advice takes
your child’s personality into account
and eschews going along with all the
crowds all the time. Middle school is a
great time for kids to learn how to say,
“You do things your way and I’ll do
things mine.”
Keeping Up With
School Assignments
& Project Deadlines
Kids tend to procrastinate. Some
have trouble understanding that proj-
ects and papers must be worked on in-
crementally to be adequately prepared.
A little bit of planning support goes a
long way until dreamy tweens can get
the hang of due dates.
Navigating The
Online World
Your child is carrying a phone, a
camera, and a computer in her pocket.
Giving kids too much responsibility
too soon can lead to extra expenses and
shaken confidence. So trust your in-
stincts, parents. You will know when
your child is ready to embrace the job of
caring for a phone.
Finding
Healthy Tribes
Kids will be kids but no parent wants
their child hanging out with a bunch of
troublemakers. Your child’s peer group
has a huge influence on his daily life.
Teach your kids to choose friends wisely
and to distance themselves from those
who make consistently unhealthy choices.
How Parents Can
Help Kids Navigate
Middle School
Be there.
Listen.
Talk with them.
Appreciate them.
Relax with them.
Encourage them.
Set clear limits.
Help them prioritize.
Discuss expectations.
Touch base daily.
Monitor online life.
Notice what’s emerging.
Keep them active.
Ignore unhelpful people.
Applaud progress.
Address over-commitment.
Tackle tough topics.
Be approachable.
Hug them often.
Celebrate proud moments.