Winter warns that parents should reach out for professional
help if their teen experiences major changes in social patterns,
begins any type of self-harming, starts to use drugs or alcohol
or talks about suicide.
However, parents should also understand that there is no
set formula for how teens will experience grief. “The duration
of grieving is different for each individual,” says Weichman.
TIPS & TALES
“During those first few days, I found the kids relied more
on each other. I provided a house, some food, or a ride to wher-
ever they needed. Parents shouldn’t rush their child through the
grieving process or expect it to be over in a few months. There
were several instances when I had to contact a teacher about late
work because my daughter was experiencing a lack of focus, ob-
sessive worry about death, and just general depression. Losing a
peer is life altering. Many kids believe bad things cannot happen
to them. In an instant, they realize bad things do happen.”
— Sharon Squire, Hyde Park, NY
“Help your child focus their grief towards something
‘good.’ I helped my children participate in planning and build-
ing a memorial garden, participating in scholarship fundraising
efforts, and creating a memorial at their school. Their friend’s
family needs their community to help them deal with their own
grief. Encourage your child to share their positive memories
with their friend’s family.”
— Lynne Schiffer, Staatsburg, NY
Myrna Beth Haskell is the author of “LIONS and TIGERS and
TEENS: Expert advice and support for the conscientious par-
ent just like you” (Unlimited Publishing, LLC). Her work has
appeared in publications across the U.S. as well as internation-
ally. Visit: www.myrnahaskell.com.
When to Seek
Professional Help
Shows little interest in daily activities
• Becomes socially isolated
•
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April 2019 WNY Family 59