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Con
and Joy:
Essentials for Children with
Learning Differences
— by Dr. Deborah Ross-Swain
& Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider
C
onfidence and joy are to the
development of a child as air
is to life! Every child has a
right to and deserves to experience confi-
dence and joy in order to grow, achieve, and
prosper. It’s the responsibility of parents
and professionals to get our children from
little people to big people with confidence
and joy in their hearts. It’s as simple as that,
and it’s absolutely essential! But children
with learning differences are often robbed
of their confidence and joy.
What does different mean? It seems as
if educators, parents and our culture have
interpreted “different” to be negative, or
somehow wrong, rather than what it is:
different! There are so many different chil-
dren in classrooms across America who are
bright, talented and gifted, but who feel bad
about themselves because so much empha-
sis is put on the negative perception of be-
ing different.
The reality is that all children are dif-
ferent! The problem is that, rather than un-
derstanding all children are different, chil-
dren are expected to all learn and behave in
the same way. When this notion becomes
the norm, then different is perceived as spe-
cial, and not necessarily in a good way.
What does it mean to have a learn-
ing difference?
To be clear, a learning difference does
not mean a disability or a disorder. It means
a different way of learning. Typically, tra-
ditional teaching styles and methods don’t
work with students with learning differenc-
es because of the way their brains are wired.
34 WNY Family April 2019
When traditional teaching methods are not
successful, it doesn’t mean that these chil-
dren can’t learn. It simply means that they
have their own way of learning. It’s the re-
sponsibility of educators and professionals
to determine how a child best learns and to
use that style consistently.
Children with learning differences
struggle in school. Often, they’re bright
students, yet struggle with learning core
subjects like reading, spelling, and math.
They also struggle with self-confidence.
They struggle to be successful. They may
struggle with making and keeping friends.
All too often the learning regimen is
never altered to assist the child. Simple
modifications, such as breaking instruc-
tions down into individual steps or facilitat-
ing a transition from one lesson to the next,
could make a world of difference. But if
the teacher persists without making needed
changes that address the child’s learning
difference, the risk for failure is immense.
Unfortunately, their struggles make
them feel bad about themselves and can
affect their desire to learn. They watch as
their peers easily master subjects that they
just aren’t able to grasp, despite trying their
hardest. Their lack of success with learning
robs them of confidence and joy.
How does the daily struggle with
learning affect overall well-being?
When adults are in environments or
situations where they fail and lose confi-
dence, they simply choose to not do it. They
walk away and do something else that they
can master and feel successful in doing.
Children can’t do that. Constant academic
struggles that result in failure and a lack of
success are huge destroyers of confidence
and joy in children with learning differ-
ences.
Confidence and joy are essential to any
child’s overall well-being. Yet, allowing
these children to become confident learners
and joyful children is upstaged by a class-
room focus on meeting academic standards.
For the typical learner this is not a problem.
But for children with learning differences
who struggle every day, it’s an enormous
problem. They begin to lose self-esteem.
Major anxiety can set in and create other
problems, such as refusing to go to school,
and physical symptoms, including stomach
aches or headaches. Feelings of “I’m not
good enough” and “I’m stupid” can be a
part of a child’s daily self-talk. Acting out
from frustration can result when the child
with a learning difference is kept in the
classroom during recess to finish an assign-
ment that continues to make no sense.
Daily struggles chip away at a child’s
confidence and overall joy. This will result
in a child’s unwillingness to attempt new
activities or learning opportunities, or even
desire to go to school. Who can blame them
for thinking or saying “I hate school” or “I
never get things right”? To make all of this
worse, these children often find it difficult
to make or keep friends, and then parents
hear, “No one likes me.” When this hap-
pens, it’s a sure indication that confidence
and joy robbers have struck again!
Success begets success.
Success is synergistically tied to con-
fidence and joy. A successful child loves to
learn and becomes a joyful learner. A con-
fident child knows that, “Even if I mess up
the first time, there will be more times to
get it right.” Confident children are chil-
dren who take risks. They feel good about
themselves and are willing to raise a hand
in class to answer a question or participate
in discussions. The confident child will ex-
plore, invite new knowledge and grow from
experiencing success.
Building confidence and joy in chil-
dren with learning differences is essential
to their emotional and overall well-being.
Confidence and joy are antidotes for anxi-
ety! If emphasis is placed on academic
achievement and “scores,” with little con-
cern for the child’s self-esteem, the child
is robbed of confidence and happiness. It’s