WLM | inspirational woman
T
ammi Littrell grew up a nomad, a product of her family’s
cowboy lifestyle. On the move from ranch to ranch in Montana
and Wyoming with a tough-loving father and a sweet-natured
mother, Tammi worked hard to earn the position of her father’s righthand man. Along the way she learned to rope, ride, chew tobacco, shoot a
gun, pick a fight and bury her feelings deep inside. Years later she’s left
with a ragtag of memories – some good, some bad, and some she’s spent
a lifetime trying to forget.
After the devastating death of her mother, Tammi, her sister, and her
father embark on an 1,800-mile pilgrimage to visit the places they lived
in as children. During the journey Tammi is forced to relive her past,
while gaining insight into her future.
In this gut-wrenching, brutally honest and quick-witted memoir, Tammi
reveals the hard road to acceptance and the kind of heartache only family
can give you. When the Dust Settled is an unforgettable story of loss,
love, and redemption - and what life is like after growing up cowboy.
That is the description of the book, When the Dust Settled, by
Dayton resident Tammi Littrell. I was going to attempt to dive
into a description of my own, but I thought I’d let the official
description do that for me … because what I want to dive into was what I felt reading this honest, biting memoir.
I began the book on a morning while getting the kids ready for school … and found myself carrying my Kindle all
over the house, putting it down only to convince myself I had to get something done already! It is that good, and
that compelling.
I had to email Tammi right away after getting through only part of it. The book spoke to me; really grabbed me
and touched my heart. Both my husband and I have had complicated relationships with family growing up – both
immediate and extended family. Sudden, unexpected death has visited us both with these complicated relationships,
and we were both left to grapple with the emotional aftermath. We were also left to deal with each other’s emotional
aftermath as the spouse, and we were both wonderfully supportive and incredible failures in the process. Along with
the loss of a complicated relationship came the interaction with other complicated family members in the mourning
process. It’s a journey that leaves a brand on your soul.
Reading Tammi’s story, I was reminded of the mornings my husband didn’t get out of bed for the year after his dad
died. I’m reminded of the effort it took to sob silently at my grandfather’s funeral when they mentioned my name.
I’m reminded of how happy I was to have my husband’s hand on mine when my other hand was covering my face.
I’m reminded of how heavy his body felt falling onto my shoulder, when I found him sitting in the dark chapel
after viewing his father’s body. Things that were so painful, yet so real. The pain of losing something and someone
is so visceral you feel as though you could touch an actual wound in your heart, but the joy of remembering the
experience that created something worth losing is also nearly palpable. Tammi took us back to those emotions as we
read her honest account of her own life.
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