Wiregrass Seniors Magazine September 2018 SEPTEMBER ISSUE(1) | Page 28

Page 28
WiregrassSeniorsMagazine.com
I Am Not A Nice Man!
A woman was at work when she received a phone
call that her small daughter was very sick with a
fever.
She left her work and rushed to the pharmacy for
some medication. She got back to her car and
found that she had locked her keys in the car.
She didn't know what to do, so she called home
and told the baby sitter what had happened.The
baby sitter told her that the fever was getting
worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger
and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty
coat hanger that had been left on the ground,
possibly by someone else who at some time had
locked their keys in their car.. She looked at the
hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."
She bowed her head and asked God to send her
help. Within five minutes a beat up old motorcycle
pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who
was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help
me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also
very thankful. The man got off of his cycle and
asked if he could help.
She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped
to get her some medication and I locked my keys
in my car. I must get home to her..Please, can
you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and
in less than a minute the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she
said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice
man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I
just got out of prison. I was in prison for car theft
and have only been out for a couple of days."
The woman hugged the man again and with sob-
bing tears cried out loud,"Oh, thank you God! You
even sent me a Professional!!!"
Birth Order: Why we are so different!
Maternity Clothes :
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as
your doctor confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear regular clothes as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE regular clothes.
Clothes:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordi-
nate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are
clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a
frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind
the mechanical swing.
Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away
until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you
squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapers:
1st baby: You change your baby's diaper every hour,
whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change them every two hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others
start to complain or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket.
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you
remember to leave a number where you can be reached...
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call
only if she sees blood.