Wiregrass Seniors Magazine October Issue OCTOBER ISSUE | Page 16

Page 16
WiregrassSeniorsMagazine.com
The Law Of The Land
The Law of Diminishing Communication:
The distance between you and the nearest
emergency telephone, is in inverse proportion to
the nature of your emergency.
The Law of Gravity:
Regardless of the location, any tool, nut, bolt, or
screw, pencil, pen, or eraser, gumdrop, M&M, or
Skittle, when dropped, will roll to the least acces-
sible corner possible.
The Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched by someone else,
is directly proportional to the stupidity of your
act. Should it be particularly embarrassing as well,
the number of witnesses to your action will in-
crease proportionately.
The Law of Random Numbers:
If you dial a wrong number, you will never get a
busy signal. Someone always answers the phone.
The Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work be-
cause you had a flat tire, the very next morning
you will have a flat tire. Due to the potential se-
verity of this law, choose an alibi carefully, as
you will be experiencing it personally.
The Variation Law:
When standing in line at the check out stand, or
driving in your car, if you change lines, or traffic
lanes, the one you were in will always move faster
than the one you are in now. (Yes, it works every
time).
The Law of the Bath:
When the bath tub is full, the water is just the
right temperature, and your body is fully immersed
in water, the telephone will ring.
The Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know in-
creases geometrically when you are without makeup
or your hair done properly.
The Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone, and demon-
strate to them, that a machine won't work, it will.