Wiregrass Seniors Magazine February Issue February Issue | Page 28

Page 28
WiregrassSeniorsMagazine.com
F ootprints In T he Hear
Heart t
Michael Brickey, Ph.D
On their deathbeds people rarely say, “I wish I had spent more
time at the office.” Rather they talk about their relationships
with people. It’s wonderful to have a lot of friends. What we
want most, however, is to leave “footprints in people’s hearts.”
It’s so easy to get caught up in our to do lists. Footprints,
however, are about when we have very emotionally intimate
experiences with people and say things or do things that change
their lives or how they perceive their lives. The rewards of
deeply connecting with people and touching people are what
feed our spirit and give our lives a sense of purpose.
It helps our hearts at both physiological and metaphorical levels.
What does it take to leave footprints? I’m fascinated with how most people who haven’t seen a
loved one for a long time resume the relationship step by step. While picking up a friend at the
airport, they ask how the flight was. Some people stay at that level and others progress to more
intimate levels. We can choose to take relationships to more intimate levels–it’s a learnable
skill. The easiest route is by candid self-revelation of vulnerable feelings or thoughts.
While leaving footprints takes time, it is more about the quality of a relationship than the quan-
tity of a relationship. Recall people who have left footprints in your heart. Was it the amount of
time they spent with you or something else like intimacy, caring, guidance, or even charisma?
Think of someone’s life that you touched. What really connected in the relationship? This might
be a template for how you can touch others’ lives as well. For example, if the
connection came from being like a parent or grandparent to the person, there may be another
person who would love to have that kind of a relationship too. If it came from sharing how you
weathered a similar difficult situation, you might be able to help others in a similar way. Or
perhaps it was just being a good listener who understood the person and her feelings and pain.
The focus is on what he or she needs. As Henry Ford said, “My best friend is the one who
brings out the best in me.”
The more you allow yourself to touch people’s lives, the easier and more natural it becomes.
What does leaving footprints have to do with defying aging? People who defy aging have a
strong sense of purpose. They touch lives and make a difference. We can model them by
periodically stepping back and assessing whether we are touching peoples lives or just
getting sucked up in our to do lists.
Ultimately, it is as Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but
only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new
book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful
mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com and www.52babysteps.com.