Wiregrass Seniors Magazine December 2017 DECEMBER ISSUE | Page 21

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Page 21
It is in what I call my special collections sec-
tion, the place on my bookshelf that holds the books
By Sherri Doe I most cherish.
The Best Gifts For Grandkids
Finding just the best gift for grandkids for Christmas
can be a challenge. Here are a few thoughts about
what gifts are the most lasting.
“I was standing on the platform of a railway
depot watching a mainline train come in. Memory
does not tell me where I was or why I was there, only
that I was very young, that the weather was cold and
my clothing was not good enough to keep me warm.
The train created a further chilling breeze as
it shuddered to a stop with one of the dining car win-
dows directly in front of me. Then, for the first time
in my life I had a glimpse of opulence, the contrast
between luxury and want, the gap between those
who have much and those who have little.
There, behind a large glass window sat men
and women in warm and well lighted comfort,
dressed in fine clothing, talking, laughing and eat-
ing. If they noticed a shivering little boy outside their
window gazing in at them in wonder, they did not
show it. Nor could they have known that within that
small boy at that time was born a determination that
things would not always be that way from him.”
This is a small segment from our grandfather’s
book. It is a collection of thoughts and stories from
his time as an agricultural technician in the U.S. Gov-
ernments Foreign Aid program between 1957 and
1967. This was a moment in his life that propelled
him to get an education that changed the trajectory
of his life forever.
He never told me this story. I didn’t know this
story until I read it in his book and that was after he
passed away. The book was intended for publica-
tion, but the manuscript sits in a 3 ring binder on my
bookshelf with each page carefully placed in a page
protector.
I know, we want to be hero at Christmas and
birthdays. If I had received that book as a Christmas
gift from Grandpa when I was a kid, my thank you
note would have been short. But here’s the thing. I
don’t remember a single Christmas or birthday gift
from my grandparents. I didn’t keep any of them. But
the book is on a special shelf. Here’s my two cents
that you didn’t ask for. Give them a great present this
Christmas. One they will love you for! The perfect
thing. The one they will lose and probably forget that
will make them feel loved when they open it. Scour
the mall, hit the sales and make sure they know you
care about them this holiday. At the same time, and
they may not even know it, you can give them a gift
that will last, will not be forgotten, and may help them
cope in times of serious distress, help them be more
well adjusted, more resilient, have more confidence.
Tell them your story. One of the most impor-
tant roles we can play as Grandparents is family his-
torian. Grandparents are a link to the past and can
provide continuity between generations. When grand-
parents share stories of their childhood, their fami-
lies and their past, they can give a sense of identity.
And your family story may do even more.
With Christmas just around the corner, it is the
perfect chance to take time share memories while
playing a game, eating a meal together, washing
dishes and helping to clean up. But why does it mat-
ter and what difference will it make?
You have heard of 20 questions? THE 20
questions? I am not talking about the classic game. I
am talking about the Do You Know 20 questions de-
veloped by psychologist Marshall Duke and his wife.
I first read about it in The New York Times article The
Ties That Bind. Dr. Duke’s wife noticed in her work
with children with disabilities that the children who
knew more about their families were better able to
face challenges. So Dr. Duke and colleague Robyn
Fivush developed their own 20 questions to test the
hypothesis. And what do you know? The children who
knew more answers to these questions was a sig-
nificant predictor of their emotional health.
Consider this from the researchers:
“In our study of family stories at the Emory University
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