On the Topic
of Suicide
Audrey Costa
I
t seems as if the country as a whole,
and even our local communities,
are being hit with news of suicides
more often than ever before. Whether
the heartbreaking stories are about
celebrities, a co-worker, or a fellow
student, it never gets easier to process.
The questions beg to be asked: “how
could this person take their own life?
How could this have been prevented?
How are their devastated loved ones
coping?” With broadcast coverage
of fashion designer Kate Spade, and
renowned chef and world-traveler
Anthony Bourdain who recently
committed suicide days apart, our
collective attention has again been
pulled towards this crisis. Americans
are required once more to confront a
problem with no easy solutions.
As a sensitive topic for many people,
it can be difficult to discuss. It’s much
easier to write or talk about happy
or entertaining subjects. But, as
uncomfortable as this topic may be,
it needs to be confronted. Perhaps
someone out there isn’t familiar with
signs that are presenting themselves
in their loved one. Awareness can
help us be prepared to step in when
our friends and family need help the
most – even if it’s managing feelings
that seem overwhelming.
The National Institute of Mental
Health reports that suicide is the 10th
leading cause of death in the U.S., yet
there is still a stigma associated with
depression. Whether it’s caused by a
person’s biology or brought on by a
major life change, an otherwise happy
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person can become hopeless and so
lonely that they decide not to go on.
Depression sufferers often become
withdrawn or closed off, experience
increased anxiety, irritability,
insomnia, lack focus, and can lose the
ability to find pleasure from activities
they normally enjoy. Everyone feels
sad or down occasionally, but it is
important to consider the possibility
of a depressive disorder when these
behaviors persist for an extended
time, and especially if there are
obvious signs of self-harm. In many
cases, a person suffering from suicidal
thoughts is incapable of reaching out
for help. It is on each of us to watch
out for warning signs as our loved
ones who are going through recent
or ongoing depression are unlikely
to tell us something is wrong.
have it worse than you do.” Though
meant to help, this type of “advice” is
detrimental. With depression being
such a tough topic, it can be very hard
to know what to say or do.
But, we must try. Personally, if the
choice is between confronting a
depressed friend and potentially
upsetting them and damaging
our friendship, or staying silent
and possibly losing that friend to
suicide, I’m risking the fallout every
time. Coming back from a bruised
friendship is easier than losing a
friend forever and knowing I did
nothing to try to help.
Ask questions and listen to the
answers. Listen and love, be present
for them as much as you know you
should. Let them know you’re there
and that seeking help isn’t a sign of
weakness or worthy of shame but
rather, quite the opposite. Support
them in finding proper therapy, as
trained professionals can make an
immense and immediate difference.
Someone on the brink can come
back to safe ground, find themselves
again, and regain their life. I’ve come
back from that edge myself. Though
fighting my depression is a constant
Unquestionably, long-term mental battle akin to overcoming addiction,
illness can be a big contributing factor I am still here, taking life one day at
to suicide, but not always. Some a time.
considering suicide are simply going
through a crisis they just can’t seem Remember – every life matters. Your
to get out from under. A constant life matters! If you were not here,
battle with chronic pain, financial someone’s world would be darker,
strain, unmet expectations, loss of harder. Remember that. As a support,
a loved one, abuse, a soul-crushing stand ready to remind others how
job or relationship - the cause of important they are to you and how
suicide isn’t one size fits all. It can you will be there for them when they
be a slow progression or a sudden need you most. If you or someone
crash. Regardless of why someone is you love is suffering from suicidal
feeling this way, it’s imperative not to thoughts, please call The National
belittle the cause or them as a person. Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-
Little is worse than having a parent, 273-8255 for free, confidential support
sibling, significant other, or friend say 24 hours a day. These resources are for
“get over it,” “just do something to emotional support, be it for you or
make yourself happy,” or the wrecking your loved ones. You are never alone.
ball, “it’s no big deal, lots of people