Winter 2018/2019 OCCM/FAITH FAMILY winter2018INDESIGN | Page 20

As
                         a pastor for more than 35 years, I have
ministered to many families that have lost loved ones,
including children. I have always tried to find the right
words to say. But in all honesty, when I would walk away
from those situations, I would say, “I hope this never
happens to me, because I don’t think I could handle it.” But
then it happened to me.
Being a pastor does not guarantee that I get a free pass on
pain. I live in the same, fallen world that everyone else does.
When I heard the news about my son Christopher, it felt as
though my world had stopped. It felt as though time had
frozen, and the air had been sucked out of the room. I
couldn’t believe it was happening to me. I couldn’t stand; I
collapsed on the ground. I wept and cried out to God, and I
said, “Lord, you gave our son to us. I give him back to you.”
But I had hope, and that hope was knowing that my son was
in heaven because he put his faith in Jesus Christ. And
because of that, I know I will see him again. He is not only a
part of my past, but he also will be a part of my future. Even
so, I still weep.
HOPE
has a
 Name
by
Greg
Laurie
When David’s son, Absalom, died, David wept and said he wished it would have been him
instead of Absalom—even though Absalom had been a wicked son. When Stephen, the first
martyr of the church, was stoned to death, we read in the Bible that “godly men buried
Stephen and mourned deeply for him” (Acts 8:2 niv).
If you are trying to find the right words to say to someone who has lost a loved one,
sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. People will say strange things. I know,
because I have heard plenty of them in the past two-and-a-half years, including, “Hey, man.
Don’t cry. They are in heaven”; “The Bible says, ‘There is a time to laugh and there is a time
to cry. There is a time to dance and there is a time to mourn’ ”; “Well, God must have
needed another angel in heaven”; “God picks His best flowers first”; and “Well, whatever
doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” And just a week after Christopher’s homegoing,
someone asked me, “Are you over it yet?” Friends of mine whose child died told me that
someone came up to them and said, “I know what you are feeling. Our dog just died.”
My friend, Steven Curtis Chapman, who has also experienced the loss of a child, said the
best thing anyone said to him in the midst of his grief was, “There are no words.” And
sometimes the best thing you can do is simply be there for someone who is grieving, and
limit your comments to something along the lines of, “I don’t know what to say, but I love
you, I am praying for you, and I am here for you right now.”
                                                                                                                                        continue pg 23
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