Wild Northerner Magazine Fall 2017 - Page 21

Peach came over to shrug his shoulders at our catch.

“Meh, average,” he proclaimed and walked away.

What a great ambassador for his own lodge, eh?

It only got better, depending on how you look at. Peach spent his days stumbling around the lodge and cabins doing fierce and loud air guitar sessions. We got back from a morning of fishing and Peach came up to us with a strange look on his face. We thought he was going to tell us our trout sucked again. He didn’t. It was much worse.

“My wife stinks,” Peach said.

He continued and told us it was that “time of the month” for his wife. He said a bunch of other stuff and continued until we told him to shut up and walked away from him. He shrugged his shoulders and walked away too, but did so while playing air guitar.

On our final night, Ryan and I were cleaning fish. Peach burst into the cleaning station and asked us to square up the bill and pay. He meant right at that moment with fish guts on our hands and all. Peach had the bill in his hand and even gestured a pen towards Ryan.

Once again, we had to bluntly tell him to back off. Peach walked away shaking his head. He was a prime piece of work.

On the last night, I was chased out of the cabin by the other guy’s snoring. I took refuge in the truck. I cracked the window and tried to drift off. It was about 3 a.m. As I settled, I could hear some strange muffled screaming from off in the distance towards the lodge. I’m sure it was the lodge owner. Who knows what he was up to. I certainly wasn’t going to look. I rolled up the window. I had heard enough of him.

The fishing was decent, but the lodge host was the real spectacle of the trip and not for anything good. He made fun of our fish. He was useless most of the time because he was blasted.

Not every lodge owner is going to be a gem, but it is nice when they are at least sober LOL.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a crazy experience at a lodge. Sometimes the cheaper you go, the more memorable it will be for reasons that make you wonder and then laugh at later.