Wheaton College Alumni Magazine Winter 2013 | Page 49

PUBLISHED alumni

Single-Minded
Each season of life has its calling.
by Jennifer A. Marshall ’94

a

lot has changed for women since those
of us in Generation X were born. We
played more sports, got more advanced
education, and have more job options
than our mothers’ generation. But one
thing that remains the same is that almost
all of us still want to be married and have
children.
Our desire and expectation for
marriage may not be new, but reality is.
Marriage proposals don’t seem to coincide
with college diplomas as frequently as
they did in the past. In today’s postgraduation working world, the obstacles
to lasting love seem to loom larger, and
romantic progress often lags behind career
advancement.
Cultural confusion about male-female
relationships in general, and marriage in
particular, has made this interior struggle
all the more challenging. We may want
marriage as much as our mothers did, but
this is not ou r mothers’ dating world.
Stranded in this unexpected in-between
of prolonged singleness, it’s tempting
to get impatient with God, as though
he were a concierge or travel guide
who gave us bad directions. That sense
of disorientation clouds our judgment
about where we should be headed for the
time being. Choices about jobs, graduate

school, or living arrangements can get us
into guessing and gambling about how a
situation will suit our marital prospects.
In the gap between life here and life
hoped for, the challenge is to live in the
present, deliberately and contentedly,
even as we desire something more for
the future. That requires focus and a
sense of purpose that won’t be swayed
by a fear of the future, or fear of what
others will think. Ultimately, that singlemindedness comes from God’s call.
Our first call is to glorify and
enjoy God. That gives us a sense of
identity, belonging, direction, and
purpose. We glorify God through our
personal callings—the relationships,
responsibilities, gifts, and opportunities
God has placed in our lives. Life’s
changing circumstances will present
many ways in which we are to pursue
that first call, and for now, that includes
singleness.
Understanding all of life as a set of
callings from God helps us live happily
in the midst of today’s circumstances.
If our sense of pleasure is shaped by
what pleases God, then nothing is more
satisfying than to serve God and others
with our gifts. The best thing for each of
us right now is to live in obedience and

joy where he currently has us.
Marriage may be a part of our
callings at some point, but for the
moment, there are others at hand. To
view each role in our lives as a calling
from God means that he has invested
significance in it. That means we
haven’t missed the mark if we’re not
married—singleness, too, is a part
of his design.

Excerpted from the book by Jennifer A.
Marshall, Now and Not Yet: Making
Sense of Singleness in the Twenty-First
Century (Multnomah, 2007)
Jennifer A. Marshall ’94 is director of
domestic policy studies at The Heritage
Foundation, overseeing research
examining the role that religion, family,
and community play in society and public
policy. In 2010, National Journal
named her one of 20 “power players”
in Washington, D.C. She writes a
regular newspaper column on issues of
faith and family, has spoken at national
and international forums, has testified
before Congress, and has appeared on
numerous radio and television shows. She
holds a master’s degree in statecraft and
world politics from the Institute of World
Politics.
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