Start Keeping PROMISES to Yourself
By Brandy Von Holten
How many times have you said, “I should do that one day”, knowing good and well that you will not even give it a second thought? Or have you ever wanted to sign up or enroll into a class or a competition and just did not do it. Why? Are you afraid of failure? Are you lazy and do not want to put forth the effort? Are you scared that others may make fun of you? Are you worried that you will be outclassed and look like a fool?
We keep so many promises to other people, yet it is common practice to break promises that we make to ourselves. There are countless examples of women that have set their mind to do something and they have rocked their journey and never looked back. Women that have lost 100lbs, completed 5K runs that had to use a walker due to cerebral palsy, graduated college when they did not finish high school, and the list goes on and on. But yet, you cannot muster up the notion to enter a horse competition, finish that project you started forever ago, or do something that is going to help you live longer and happier.
Let’s take a minute to discuss why our society has gotten into this funk. Technology and social media. We not only live in a “now” society, but we live in a “right now!” society. Anything we want or want to know is immediately accessible. Amazon and Google are changing our lives. The days of waiting are over. When your day to day life is filled with now and right now, the concept of a goal taking an extended amount of time appears to be an unachievable task, when in actuality, everything is possible and there is not a limit on one’s growth potential.
Social media has us beat down in our perception of ourselves. Social media is not real life. It is not the full picture of someone. I own a trail riding facility and use social media extensively. My clientele sees mostly the end results, positive thoughts, and forward movement. They do not get to see the self-doubt, the tears, the fears, and the mundane truckload of hours put into making this business successful. Things are never as they seem. People view us as financially rich, when in all actuality we have sacrificed gifts for holidays the first five years of the business just to makes ends meet. This perceived reality is what everyone compares themselves to and concludes that they are not good enough. Comparing yourself to someone’s social media self is like comparing an ocean to a mudpuddle. Not in the same ball park, so don’t even do it.
Now, let’s get to work on how to keep promises to yourself. The number one thing to do is become a “master of the mundane”. If anything matters in your life, everything has to matter. For me to become a successful author, I must wash the dishes. For me to increase my international ranking in mounted archery, I must buy shampoo. If I want to sell more t-shirts, I must sweep the floor. You see, you cannot master one area and fail at another or you cannot achieve your goals. Make a list and knock the tasks off and then get busy doing what you want. If you are a chronic promise breaker, only put one mundane item such as laundry on your list and one goal on your list. Do not add to your list until those items are complete. You have to reinstill that sense of accomplishment internally. Make a physical list so you can mark that task off!
Getting enough courage to go do something takes just an ounce of “grrr”. Take for example the annual All Around Cowgirl Challenge we host at our facility. Every year I get to hear “next year” probably four times more by women that do not sign up as compared to the number of women that sign up. The ones that have overcome their fear were the ones that signed up with a friend and the ones that sent in their deposit. Plain and simple. If they put “some skin in the game” aka paid out money and had an accountability partner; those are the ones that show up! Take the words “next year” out of your vocabulary and flush them down the toilet.
What a sad life we allow ourselves to live in. As children, we are told, you can be anything you put your mind to. As adults, we tell ourselves that we can’t do anything, or we do not deserve to treat ourselves. If we had a friend that spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves, we would call them a negative bully. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to let yourself talk this way to yourself.
Repeat after me:
I am good enough.
I am worth the time and effort.
Go live your life and stop listening to that bully! Other women are going to support you in your adventures and wish that they had YOUR ability to go for your goal. Become the shoulder that another woman needs to overcome their own rut. You have the ability to change. You have always had it.
42 / Sport and Trail Magazine