Wanderlust: Expat Life & Style in Thailand December 2014 / January 2015 | Page 25
trying her best to avoid eye contact. I soon discovered
why. There was no way on earth that my curvy thighs
were going to fit into the capri pants I had selected.
I’m pretty sure I heard the garment squeal in terror when
I took it off the hanger. Dejected, I left the fitting room
and handed the offended garment back to the shop
assistant who gave me a sympathetic smile and simply
said, “Too small.”
I was not about to give up already, so I headed into
a brand name store. This time it was my wallet that
let out a squeal. I searched the racks and selected a bigger
size. Now I was the one avoiding eye contact as I headed
for the fitting room. I turned my back to the mirror
as I undressed so I wouldn’t have to face the reflection
that only a fitting room mirror can create. I stepped
into the dress, and I managed to get the dress on. There
was only one small problem. There was no way the zipper
in the back would ever zip up.
I stomped out of the dressing room and returned
the garments to the racks. My husband patiently
followed me around from store to store, trying to help
me find something to wear. After the fifth unsuccessful
fitting session, I walked out of the fitting room
on the brink of tears and asked my husband, “How much
does liposuction cost?” He too was starting to look
terrified. I think he could see that the banshee within
was beginning to claw her way out. It was at this point
that I decided to give shopping a rest for the day.
We went for lunch and tried to forget about
the unpleasant shopping experience. Our table
was situated near two young Thai women, dressed
in their mini skirts and pretty floral blouses. I sank lower
into my seat as I watched them demolish a large pizza,
ribs, and chicken wings. How do they do it? How do they
eat so much food? Fortunately, we did not hang around
long enough to see if they ordered dessert. It would have
been too much for me if they did.
A few days later, I was walking around a small shopping
center and there were some clothes on display. I carefully
flicked through the racks and examined the items
I thought might fit. A gorgeous stick figure came gliding
up to me, took one of the dresses off the rack, held
it up and said, “It stretches for big ladies.”In my mind,
I held her up and snapped her in half like a twig. I politely
smiled and said,“Khup kum kah.” I took the dress, paid
for it, and headed home. When I got home, yes, the dress
did in fact fit because it stretches. But, it made me look like
a pregnant fairy, and the dress has since been bundled
up and banished to the back of the closet.
I eventually found a few items at Marks and Spencer
I am happy to say. This Bangkok shopping disaster
has made me realize once again the importance
of being in shape, not only for health reasons, but also
for my own sanity. My determination to lose weight
is now stronger than ever. I have decided not to admit
defeat. Instead, I will exercise more and eat healthy Thai
food. I will not give in to the tempting sweets and desserts
on display everywhere.
The day will come when I will confidently walk into
a store and emerge a few hours later with bags full
of beautiful clothes. For now, I will look down at my chest
and smile triumphantly at my unpadded, all natural
cleavage as I strut my JLo behind down the streets
of Bangkok.