Wanderlust: Expat Life & Style in Thailand Aug / Sept 2017: The Kids & Family Issue | Page 29

When you have
long ago: In
freedom and
defined your own
place their
2014, during
feet firm-
a medita-
objectives and clarified
ly wherever
tion retreat
your purpose, you exist
they may go.
in Dubai, we
There is
were doing
outside the eyes and the
no magical
some group
judgment of others.
recipe, but
exercises on
when we par-
releasing the
ents work on our
patterns we did
own confidence,
not want anymore
positive change hap-
in our lives. I told the
pens! When a child sees
group that I wanted to re-
parents daring to be, it is very
lease my lack of self-confidence,
likely
the child will dare to become.
which surprised my friend Michelle
Parents have a big role, but let us not
who said: “You, Amelie? Lack of
forget that children are individual be-
confidence?”
ings. While we can inspire, influence
At first, I felt a bit upset that she
would not believe me. But then I asked and teach, the personality of the
child is not our exclusive production
myself if I really still did lack confi-
dence, and I realized that I was not do- or responsibility.
ing bad at all! It had been such a long
journey for me that I had just gotten
DEFINING
used to the idea that I was not confi-
SELF-CONFIDENCE
dent. Dear reader, what is your honest
feedback about your confidence?
Self-confidence means daring
to be who you are, with full au-
thenticity. When you are truly
THE ROOT OF
living in accordance with your
THE PROBLEM
values, goals and dreams, you
Confidence builds up during child-
can shine your strongest light,
hood; during this time, it can get
both in your heart and out into
breached at home, at school, or in
the world to serve others.
the community.
From an early age, children re-
ceive messages about the way they
are expected to be. They hear adults
say things like, “Mummy feels so sad
because you …” or, “Do this-or-that to
make Daddy happy.”
Of course, the socialization chil-
dren undergo is necessary so that
they learn about structure, perfor-
mance and integration. As a par-
ent, it’s not easy to find balance be-
tween giving guidelines and values
to our children and formatting them
to “please” the rest of the world. To
strike this balance, though, means
children will be able to be who they
are, so they can dance with joy and
BUILDING UP
CONFIDENCE AT HOME
For families, especially those with
young kids, I like the following exer-
cise for building confidence:
Put a large piece of paper on the
wall, on which each member of the fam-
ily has his or her objective for the week,
in terms of a daily habit to undertake
or work on. For example, “Say some-
thing nice to my brother,” or “Dedicate
30 minutes to meditation,” or “Spend
one hour with no electronic devices.”
Every evening as a family, review
what each family member did or did
not do, and put a sticker up when
there is an accomplishment. The rule
is that there is no judgment. Each per-
son only comments about his or her
own achievement. If someone is not
able to make something happen, the
others can ask how they can be of
support to help.
When you know what your
strengths and skills are, and when
you have defined your own objec-
tives and clarified your purpose, you
exist outside the eyes and the judg-
ment of others. You do not seek ac-
ceptance and love of others to feel
good and to feel worthy. Of course
we all like to be loved and accepted,
but when it becomes a purpose, it
becomes our nightmare.
When we teach our children to ap-
preciate themselves and to see who
they are, when we help them to set up
objectives and to be the leaders of their
lives, we help our children to step into
their power and claim their confidence.
SIGNS OF
SELF-CONFIDENCE
¬ ¬ A self-confident person’s
objective is not focused on
people-pleasing or following
trends but on being his or
her authentic self.
¬ ¬ Criticism may cause an effect
but won’t lead to collapse
under the weight and pres-
sure of critique. Instead, he
or she takes relevant feed-
back into consideration and
releases whatever is toxic.
¬ ¬ He or she does not engage
in self-comparison, neither
with arrogance nor with
self-deprecation.
¬ ¬ A self-confident person rec-
ognizes, appreciates and
smiles at the beauty in others.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Amelie Yan-Gouiffes’s job and passion is inner diamond mining.
She is a motivational speaker and public speaking coach who
empowers people to uncover their inner diamonds and unleash
their full potential through her “Be and Become®” programs. To
learn more about personal and professional development through
public speaking, contact Amelie on www.ameliespeaks.com.
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