David Cameron has sensationally announced that the in/out EU referendum has been taken off the table. The decision will now be made by a televised game of “dick chicken” between the Prime Minister and Boris Johnson.
Dick chicken is a game in which two men pull out their penises and then walk towards each other. The first man to back off to avoid penile contact is the loser. It’s believed, in this instance, both competitors will also have their in/out preference written in marker pen on their todgers.
‘Those Eton boys live for this kind of stuff. It’s all they do there really. They play strange little games and grow up to be strange little men,’ said Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell.
If David Cameron loses he will probably also be forced to step down as Conservative leader.
forced to step down as Conservative leader.
Boris Johnson has already been installed as the early favourite to win both the game of dick chicken and the Conservative leadership, with William Hill offering 5/6 odds of him achieving both.
‘Boris is a bit of a clueless, bumbling oaf. I half expect him to stumble forward and for Cameron to reel back. That would be considered enough to win,’ said William Hill.
This could very well be the first televised event that no-one watches.
Game of “dick chicken” to decide Brexit