Kanye West, the self-professed greatest living rock ‘n’ roll star, has revealed that he has been diagnosed with both chronic twatism and attention seeking syndrome. He did so on stage whilst being accompanied by fireworks and backing dancers to make the announcement seem more special.
The news came as a total shock to Kanye who has cancelled all future tour dates and shelved his recording schedule. Kanye said that he plans to stay positive and overcome any health difficulties thrown his way: ‘I’m gonna beat this though. Ain’t nothing stronger than Kanye West.’
However those close to Kanye have said that they suspected that something was wrong with Kanye for a long time. Even his mother Rose has said: ‘My little Kanye has always been different. He’s always rubbed people the wrong way and I’ve known that there was something wrong with him for a long time. I’m just glad we finally have a label on his problem and that he can now begin treatment.’
The diagnosis of chronic twatism and attention seeking syndrome (aka ASS)
came from a routine check-up shortly after Kanye had revealed his plans to release an album full of David Bowie covers.
Our medical expert Dr. Jacoby said that Kanye has a long road to recovery: ‘Even with all time and money he has on his hands, beating chronic twatism is difficult because it’s one of those mental illnesses that only seems to get worse the richer and more successful you get. He needs to take himself out of the limelight for awhile but that will be tough as he also has ASS. He’s really in a catch-22 type situation.’
Fans of Kanye have rallied around the ailing star by getting #SeekingKanye trending on Twitter.
Kanye West Diagnosed With Chronic Twatism & Attention Seeking Syndrome