Hello and welcome to 'Who
Wants to be a Martyr Live on Air?',
with me Osama Bin Laden. The aim
of the show is to lure a dumbass bag of skin into becoming a suicide bomber by offering this great suicide vest as our star prize
and, in the afterlife, a place in
paradise with 72 virgins.
Our contestants will be asked
a series of questions and each time
they get one correct they move up the scoreboard. If they answer all 8 questions correctly then its off to Jannah they go via
a big bang in a crowded civilian area.
If a contestant gets stuck
on a question then they have
three options, '50/50' where we will
take away two wrong answers, 'ask Allah' where they can speak to Allah
on the phone, or they can choose to torture a member of the audience
for the answer.
Today's contestant is
Jihadist Joe who lives for
Jihad in Iraq and Syria. He is a genocidal maniac. He currently holds the Jihad record for most kills but he’s looking for a permanent role as a martyr
in Paradise.
As-Salaam-Alaikum
Brother Osama