Vive Charlie Issue 11 | Page 44

Vive Charlie - Idiots Gallery

'Women incorrectly wearing the hijab leads to homosexuality among men'

Prominent Iranian cleric, Ayatollah Hossein Dehnavi, is a celebrity in Iran, where he regularly offers advice on family and sexual matters on state television.

He’s the bearded muppet that brought us this nugget of wisdom: ‘When fantasizing about another woman while impregnating your wife, the child will be a homosexual’.

Not satisfied with his level 1 homophobia he’s now claiming that ‘Women incorrectly wearing the hijab leads to homosexuality among men’.

Most of Dehnavi’s advice is aimed at women.

For example, he also teaches that women should women provide sex to their husbands ‘anywhere and at anytime’ and seeking sexual gratification is sinful.

Dehnavi even advises women on wardrobe choices like the colour of underwear to wear: ‘Those who have pale skin should wear black underwear. And those with darker or bronze skin should wear white underwear to arouse their husbands’ he said.

@causticbob has a wonderful habit of offending everyone.

Whether you're black, white, yellow or brown. Male, female, gay, left wing, right wing, racist or stupid; You're a target.....

Hillary Goes To Heaven

The year is 2021. George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, all former presidents of the United States of America, were attending the dedication of a new synagogue in New York City when a suicide bomber rushed through the crowd shouting “Allahu Akbar” and blew himself and the ex-presidents to smithereens. The terrorist goes straight to hell and states defiantly “I have honoured the Prophet and I await my reward of seventy-two virgins”. Satan can’t believe his ears and laughs as the bomber is taken away to be the love slave to seventy-two Vietnamese potbelly pigs. Bush, Obama and Clinton go directly to God, bypassing St. Peter due to their rank in their previous lives. God looks at them and addresses a question to Bush, “George, what do you believe?”. Bush, in a very reverent tone, replies, “Lord, I believe that Iraq had hidden supplies of weapons of mass destruction and it was my duty as the leader of the free world to prevent Iraq from using them to sow terrorism throughout the world”. God reflects on this and says, “George, you are a good man. Come sit at my right hand.” God then looks at Obama and asks the same question. “Barry, what do you believe?”. Obama, in his best Baptist hell-fire sermon voice answers, “God! I have seen the plight of my people and I have dedicated myself to the elimination of racism so that all peoples truly will be equal”. God, obviously moved by Obama’s passion tells him, “Barry, you are also a good man. Come sit at my left hand.” With only Hillary left, God looks at her and asks, “Hillary, what do you believe?”. Hillary, without hesitation replies, “I believe you are in my chair”.