VISIBILITY Magazine Issue 03. (April 2018) - Page 19

Self-proclaimed nice guys… Don’t trust them. But she said no. She said no and you did it anyway. You saw her cry. Did you see her bleed too? Fuck you, but not even you. Fuck the society that encourages and permits this. Fuck her friends who blamed her; who said that going into a room with him constituted consent. Fuck a society that makes men think that all women want is them. Fuck a society that makes women think that external validation from men is of higher value than the internal validation they can give their own selves. Dear sister, I am sorry. I am sorry that your young age means you have to report it. I am sorry that when you went to the ER to get a rape kit, they viewed you the same way he did: as a body without the human attached to it. The nurses forced swabs into you, dealing with you in an entirely desensitized and impersonal manner. In a situation where you were powerless and already lost complete control over your body, you lost control of your own healing process and of the information itself. I am sorry that in high school trying to stop rumors is like trying to stop water flowing through wide open fingers. I am sorry that our father does not respect your own deserved autonomy over the situation. I am sorry that his own mental stability and sense of justice means more to him than yours. I am sorry that the prolonged process of reporting means that this drags on and on, and that you are reminded daily of his unwelcome presence inside of you. Please know that you are loved. You are loved and wanted for so much more than your body. And as such you deserve so much more than a brief apology over text that your rapist believes rectifies the situation. Sister, you are worth so much. No matter what society tells you, we know better, don’t we? You are worth more than what men think of you. You are more than what he used you for. You are more. I love you, and I love you for so much more than your body. 17