VISIBILITY Magazine Issue 02. (April 2017) - Page 34

Floating The night it happened was a dark and stormy. I was driving as fast as I could to get to the birth- day party on time, but I didn’t want to speed in such heavy rain. My little Jetta was in need of new brakes, but that would have to wait until after I got a Christmas bonus. I tried to stop myself from making a mental list of what I needed to save up for. As of right now, my priority was making it to Sage’s birthday dinner before she would get there at 7. I had such a long day at work and truly didn’t feel like going. But Sage had been my best friend since middle school and we’d gone through so much together. Break ups, college, jobs, moving. On sec- ond thought, that was more of a reason why I didn’t need to go. Because she’d understand me being a lit- tle too tired. I felt so stuck at work and I didn’t know how to get out. With all these emergencies pop- ping up, costing $600, $1000 at a time, I didn’t have enough savings to just quit. My coworkers were absolutely vile, and although I still believed in the mission of EduAccess, I barely spent time work- ing with kids anymore. My job answering phones, sending emails to sponsors, planning banquets, wasn’t what I signed up for. I gripped the wheel tighter remembering how stuck I felt at my job. And it wasn’t just my job. It felt like my whole life was falling apart…or just stag- nant somehow. Derrick had had it up to there with me. I was waiting for the day he’d say, “I want to see other people,” and not under the terms we agreed 27