To Be Or Not To Be
(Or, the Tale of a WouldHave-Been Violinist)
A PERSONAL NARRATIVE BY SARAH MARTIN
I sit in a darkened auditorium, coloring, or
maybe playing quietly on the floor under the chairs,
my toddler‐mind only half listening to the violin stu‐
dents who come one by one onto the stage, play
their pieces, bow, and walk off again. Perhaps I hum
along – although I’m very young – three, at most – I
have heard these songs countless mes before, and,
if I don’t already, I’ll grow to know prac cally all of
them by heart someday.
But in a moment, the high sounds of a
violin fade, and a new sound enters my ear. It is
beau ful, and sparks my interest…What is this new
sound? It is low and warm – much lower and warmer
a sound than a violin can make. I have heard it be‐
fore, but I remember only vaguely. I come up from
my fortress under the chairs to get a be er look. A
student is playing a violin, but it is bigger than the
rest, and she is holding it the wrong way, between
her knees. Ah, now I remember….I have seen this
before. I climb into my mother’s lap and listen in‐
tently as the girl plays on…
At least, that’s the way I imagine it. As my
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mother tells it, I was always interested in cello music
more than violin music. My brother started Suzuki
violin when I was just 10 months old, and with that
began our many trips to lessons, group classes, and
student recitals, put on weekly by the program direc‐
tors (who taught cello as well as violin). Perhaps it
was in these recitals that my li le mind decided that
I was going to play that instrument – that strange,
too‐big violin – some day.
The summer I turned three, my parents
asked me if I wanted to play the violin. “Like Alexan‐
der,” they said. “Do you want to play violin like Alex‐
ander?” (Alexander was my 5‐year‐old brother, who
had been playing violin for as long as I could remem‐
ber.) Now, you may think it’s a bit odd for a three‐
year‐old to start learning an instrument, but with the
Suzuki method, it’s actually quite common; many
students do. Teach the child music the way you
teach them language; this is the philosophy. Learn by
hearing. Learn by imita on. Learn by repe on.
I said yes. Sure, I would love to play the
violin. Although we already possessed a varied as‐